Hi redditors, I really needs some advice.
A little back story for context. My (38f) ex husband (37m) and I have been divorced for 5 years due to infidelity from his side. He's a fairly good dad and never misses a child support payment. For the most part we co-parent effectively and he has every second weekend with our 8 yr old son - Ex shows up on time and never skips a weekend unless someone is sick. My ex is now in a year long relationship with a woman who has two daughters very close in age to our son. Her and I get along and the children get along too. Great right?
For about two years before my ex started dating this lady, our son got undivided attention when he was with his dad for the weekend. Shortly ex and girlfriend moved in together, my son let me know he was struggling a bit. I told my son that there would be things to get used to and he is generally a very accommodating kid. He let me know that he was jealous of the time that his dad spends with the two girls and said he really just wanted some quality time with his dad again. Please keep in mind that his father does not communicate with him in any way in the time between "his" weekends. There is never a time, even during pick-ups and drop offs that the girls and girlfriend are not present. Its probably important to note that ex and new girl now have another baby boy on the way.
I approached my ex about this and tried to convey my sons feelings to him, but he brushed me off and told me to let him parent "his way". I don't pry about what happens at dad's house when my son comes home, though he is welcome to tell me, I don't ask. He told me that he hangs out in the bedroom on his phone most of the time while dad wrestles and plays with the girls. My son feels like he cant get a word in edgeways when he's there.
I can see my son is hurting and he tells me so in so many words. For the first time since our divorce he is articulating that its hard being the kid of divorced parents and that he misses his dad. He has even told me he wishes we could get back together - this will never be an option and he knows that. I listen and console him and tell him his feelings are valid.
Dad does not get this at all and refuses to change anything or spend a couple hours with our son alone every second weekend. It very much feels like when this baby is born, my ex is going to have the "do-over" he craves.
I almost feel like its not right to complain, there are deadbeat dads and kids who dont even know who their dads are. But then I see m boy struggling and I don't know how to help him.
Is there even anything I can do? I can't control his fathers actions and beyond facilitating from my side, I can't fix their relationship. Any advice? Do I just keep my mouth shut?
tl/dr My Ex is neglecting quality time with our son and I dont know if I can fix it.
Submitted October 26, 2022 at 11:59PM by Largezambonidriver https://ift.tt/N1k5fM7
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