How do I (20F) say no to my manager for events outside of work without hurting my stand as a team player?

Typing this on my phone so please excuse any formatting issues.

I recently got a job (my first ever corporate job) and it's been stressful to say the least. When I say stressful I mean the myriad of ways I just have to keep interacting with my coworkers outside of work. Babyshowers, lunch, dinners, birthday parties the list goes on.

My manager has a very "we are a family" mindset and that alone has sucked out every ounce of enthusiasm from me to keep up with the team.

In two days my co-worker has a housewarming party the same day I have dinner plans with my friends to celebrate my graduation. I've gently raised it with my manager but he just said "cancel it".

I'm scared that if I keep missing out on these work events he'll get the idea that I'm not interested in getting acquainted with the team and it's culture.

Moreover, I don't drink and the first time my manager heard it he was visibly disappointed. Apparently alcohol is a huge bonding factor between my team members. I know the housewarming party is going to be another event where I can't eat or drink anything due to my dietary restrictions and I will stick out like a sore thumb.

Any advice on how to politely say no to this event? Thanks in advance.

TL;DR : Need advice on how to politely say no to a co-worker's housewarming party without pissing off my manager who is a firm believer of "we are a family" mantra at work.

Submitted October 31, 2022 at 04:21AM by KeyClimate1895 https://ift.tt/GYeZ9A0