My [F27] flat mate [F28] has expressed she has sexual feelings towards me, but I am in a happy relationship with my boyfriend [M27]

My [F27] flat mate [F28] moved in with me about six months ago. We’ve known each other for 8 years and are really good friends. We used to live quite far away from each other so only really saw each other maybe around 4 times a year. Obviously now that we live together we see a lot of each other! We both work from home and do lots of social things together (I’ve introduced her to a lot of my local friends).

We are really close friends, and a few times she has ended up sleeping in my bed with me as she says my bed is so comfortable. I am bisexual but I don’t see her in a sexual way, I see her like a sister. I’ve also always thought she is straight so never thought anything of this. However, a few weeks ago she told me that she has started to feel a sexual attraction to me. I was completely taken aback by this as it came as a massive shock/surprise.

I have been with my boyfriend (M27) for three years and we have a great and happy relationship. She knows this and knows him quite well as he is round lots and we will hang out together.

When she first told me because I was so shocked (and not sober) I didn’t really say much back, I think I just said “okay”. We spoke about it when sober and she said “obviously nothing can happen because you’re in a relationship” and I agreed. I haven’t told her explicitly that I don’t fancy her as she seemed really upset and I was worried about hurting her feelings, but she is clear that nothing can or will happen.

It was a bit awkward for a few days but it has got less awkward with time. The other day though she did get into my bed after we had been drinking together and kept stroking my hair and trying to cuddle me. I told her to stop and she eventually got out of my bed and went to hers. She apologised the next morning.

I have told my boyfriend about all of this. He doesn’t seem annoyed, just a bit surprised (he suggested I ask here for advice). I feel guilty because I feel as though I’ve shared something very personal/secret about my flat mate. She is clearly going through a lot right now, she’s always thought she was straight so these feelings are probably a little confusing for her.

I’m also finding it hard because I’m worried that parts of my friendship with my flat mate such as complimenting each other and being affectionate towards each other may no longer be appropriate. We are often joking with each other and now I’m worried that it can be interpreted as flirting.

I basically don’t know what to do or how to handle this situation. I’m really worried I’m going to end up hurting someone I care about. I also don’t know how strong my flat mate’s feelings are towards me, whether it’s just a physical thing or if it’s something deeper. It feels wrong to seek advice from friends because I have to share something very personal about my flat mate with them (who they all know).

Has anyone been in a similar situation before? Does anyone have any advice about how I should handle this situation? How can I reduced the awkwardness and set clear boundaries without hurting my flatmate and our friendship?

TL;DR My [F27] flat mate [F28] has told me she’s sexually attracted to me and has tried to act upon these feelings. I don’t reciprocate these feelings because I am in a happy relationship with my boyfriend of three years [M27]

Submitted December 05, 2021 at 07:10AM by Zealousideal-Load472 https://ift.tt/3ptL135