I (F25) want to leave my partner (M27) of almost 10 years because he won’t work, doesn’t help with anything around the house and thinks I’m attacking him when I ask for help or about our future. Why do I keep letting this happen and why do I feel guilty about wanting to leave?

We started dating when I was 15 and him 17, he moved in with me after 3 months because I was taking care of my mum full time and parenting my younger brother and I really appreciated the help he gave. Looking back, we were way to young.

He had a lot of potential, was studying and working until 19. We started smoking pot and everything went downhill. He now has anxiety and depression, and narcissistic tendencies..

Lived with housemates from years 5-7 together so our finances weren’t so tight but it’s just us living together and all on me now, it’s stressful.

I do all the housework, handy work and yard maintenance while he sits on his fucking PC (that I bought him like an idiot thinking he would commit to streaming for some form of income) doing nothing with his life. I literally beg for him to do housework or have to write a list which still doesn’t get done half the time. He doesn’t even offer to help when he sees me mowing the lawn…

He has no license.

I have been in full time work for 4+ years now. I pay for EVERYTHING except his phone bill and every second weeks rent.. because that’s literally all he can afford.

We have no savings because we smoke to much weed..I’m hooked on weed because I’m miserable being in this fucking ground hog day situation so make sure we have a constant supply so we don’t fight… Another reason I want out, I’ll stop smoking as a crutch..

He refuses to move out because he is on the lease and justifies him paying ‘half the rent’ as his right but doesn’t understand that he can’t afford EVERYTHING else because I pay for it.. it makes more sense for him to go find a room or try go back to his parents.

There is just so much more bullshit to this..

I have felt like this since April.. I don’t think there is feelings that can be salvaged cause lord knows I’ve tried…we fight, I tell him I’m done and then I let him crawl into bed when he cries and says he is sorry, will do better and would die without me…

TLDR: got together young, nearly 10years but I’ve been pulling 99% of the weight for us nearly 5 years because of his ‘mental health’ and I don’t want to leave because I feel guilty about where he will end up without me.. I don’t want to be with him..

He acts extremely childish whenever I try to talk to him. Says I attack him and I’m being dramatic.. I’ve tried to pitch therapy and that’s a hard no.

How do I break it to him gently that I love him, but that I’m not in love with us anymore and I’m really leaving?

Do I just pack a bag and let him see what it’s like without my financial support? Or move into another room?

I know I have to leave but I care too much… how do I do it without being completely heartless and possibly ruining an already broken man?

Submitted December 03, 2021 at 07:35PM by CravingMorex https://ift.tt/3diHQWw