I [28F] have a disabled sister [30F] and older parents [63F] [66M]. Am I a bad person for wanting to move across the country?

I live on the east coast in the same city I grew up in. I've been here practically my whole adult life because I've wanted to stay close to my family.

I really want to move out west, but I'm struggling with guilt and feeling responsible for my family. My sister has severe disabilities. She needs total care and my parents' lives revolve around her. My parents are in their mid-60s and in good health.

The biggest reason I want to move out west is for my health. I have really bad environmental allergies. Where I live now, I always feel like garbage from spring through late summer. I also recently got really sick from toxic mold exposure in my apartment. I've spent some stints out west in higher-altitude places, and my allergies were a million times better. I think that being in a dryer climate would help me detox from the mold.

I just feel like I'm abandoning my parents and sister.

My brother [26M] lives close by, as well as my aunt & uncle. The problem is that my parents won't ask for help when they need it. I'm the closest with them out of anyone. What usually happens is that I'm the only one who realizes when they actually need help, and I have to insist upon helping them.

An example: This past summer my dad went to the hospital with appendicitis & sepsis. My mom just dropped him off at the ER alone and went home to take care of my sister. He kept refusing help from anyone. Finally, I just showed up at the hospital against my dad's will. Once I was there and saw the state he was in, it was clear that he really did need someone there.

No, my parents aren't open to moving and they never will be. Yes, I'm in therapy.

Tl;dr I think I'd be a lot happier and healthier if I relocate across the country. I feel like I'm abandoning my disabled sister and parents who don't know how to ask for help from other people.

Submitted December 15, 2021 at 07:38PM by fiercestfables https://ift.tt/3GI9oky