I've been in a relationship for just under a year but it feels much longer. We are very good at communicating with one another and have a transparent relationship and always sort out issues and make sure needs, feelings, insecurities are talked out, sorted and tended to. My partner has had a previous partner that was lying and cheating constantly leaving my partner with some issues with trust, I cater to that by making sure he has my location (I have his too) for safety and security reasons, I also added his fingerprint to my phone and he's done the same.
Lately he's been making comments and "jokes" about who I'm texting or what I'm hiding on my phone for a example "texting your boyfriend?" "who are you texting" ect.
I've always shown him the screen or told him who I'm texting or on the phone with and he normally drops it
Today I was up super long and had a appointment in the evening, he wanted to make sure I get a nap without being distracted by my phone. I told him not to worry, I'm setting alarms on my phone and will be putting it in charge and going to sleep, no browsing. He seemed put off by me not leaving my phone and took it as if I was being suspicious and didn't want to leave of wirh him. I tried to explain he's welcome to go through it before I go to bed but I want to set alarms and generally feel comfortable having it near me. (I have pts from a physically abusive relationship where he used to bar me from having a phone to call emergency) The whole vibe changed and he stopped talking and just sat there, I asked him if there was still a issue and he brought up the "idea" of taking my phone for a few days and forwarding my calls and texts for me. I told him I needed my device as I am in contact with family ect and I'm in the middle of moving and I have potential landlords calling me and scheduling viewings. He promptly offered his phone (he has 2 one for work) I told him I need my number and he replied with "well I got my answer then" it made me feel really bad for wanting to have my own form of communication and kind of brought up anxiety as it seemed a bit too familiar.
I feel crappy always being assumed the worst of. I've never lied, cheated, or done anything behind my partners back and always allowed access to location and device. I feel like it will never be enough. I've tried to talk to him about it and he just shuts down.
From previous experience I've noticed when people accuse or assume things of others without any real reason its something they are doing... Do you think he's cheating? Or is this just truama? I really love this guy and want to make sure he feels safe in the relationship but lately I don't feel that is being reciprocated.
If you read this far. Thank you.
Tldr: partner wants to take my phone for 2 days, I voiced that I would like to be able to take calls and texts on my own and welcomed him to go through it. He got upset about it and it's made me feel bad and sad. Wanted opinions
Submitted August 24, 2021 at 12:24AM by Competitive_Quail_55 https://ift.tt/3gtZZT6
No comments:
Post a Comment