My(21f) dad(59m) is putting me in the middle of his divorce with my mom(61f). Is it worth cutting him out of my life?

Hey all, an early apology for the formatting because I'm on a mobile device.

A little background, my parents split when I was 14 and are still in the process of getting divorced and it had been so messy and literal hell. A situation arose a week ago that has me feeling like I was never actually loved by my dad and just a playing card against my mom. He was never really around pre divorce but once they split was around more since he had to be.

Anyways, for the current event. I am in my last semester at community college and about to transfer to a four year college! Super exciting but my dad has made it such a horrible process. He isn't paying a penny for my college or room and board despite making 500k a year... which I am upset about but it is a privilege to get a free ride like that so I am not complaining and that isnt entirely what this post is about.

In addition to not paying for my college, he had been less than helpful with obtaining financial aid (which I'm filed as a dependent and he makes good money so I probably wouldn't get much anyways) and helping me explore school options.

On the other hand, my mom is less well off and had been very supportive through this process. She took her time and even money to help me look at an out of state school I really want to attend, I am so grateful. I went with her to look at said school and we made a bit of a vacation about it. I didnt tell my dad because I knew if I did he would sabotage it but he ended up finding out. I wish he would be supportive and ask me how the school was etc but that's just not how he is obviously.

While I was there he was super pushy about having dinner with me, which was odd because he rarely gives me the time of day. He even had his girlfriend call my boyfriend to ask him to come over which was super weird. Come to find out, that my dad TRACKS MY PHONE and got a notification that I was out of state. He is now using it against my mom in court and he ghosted me completely.

When I confronted him about ghosting me and how I would really like him to be upfront with me about issues he may have and how I knew he was tracking my phone, he lashed out. He told me he didnt have time for my bullshit and that I was projecting (doesnt make sense but okay).

Like this situation is so hurtful and I dont know what to do. He said some pretty nasty stuff that I never thought he could say to me. I am heartbroken. I ended up blocking both him and his girlfriend because i dont know if i want to be apart of their lives anymore after this, but I also have a part of me that wants my dad in my life.

I just dont know what to do, because I tried to talk to him like an adult and showed the want to work it through but I would either get no response or lashed out at.

How should I approach this situation? Is it worth just blocking them from my life? Should I give it time and revisit it later?

There have also been other issues regarding his girlfriend saying really nasty things to me infront of him and he doesn't do anything about it. He has been neglectful since moving in with her etc. So this isnt the only thing that's been happening to make me question the state of our relationship.

Tldr: my dad lashed out after me going to look at a school with my mom.

Submitted August 25, 2021 at 09:39PM by mackattvck https://ift.tt/3BbSS9O