Hey everyone. Hope you'll indulge me venting for a bit. I've been really anxious about this. I am male, 37, my gf is 35, we've been together 8 years.
My girlfriend, it's almost like she has two modes. Insanely awesome and sweet and the girl I want to marry (I bought a ring), funny and supportive and affectionate.
But then she'll get into these phases of being really combative. Constantly cutting me down, contradicting everything I say. It's all no no no. I could say "it's raining outside" and she'll find a reason to say "no, actually..." When this happens a dozen times a day I start to get so angry and exhausted and frustrated until I just snap. "Why is EVERYTHING I say wrong???" It's so hard to explain in a reddit post, but it just makes me feel stupid, and it feels like she's actively trying to find fault in everything I do or say. Even when I'm being nice or just sharing a silly opinion, it's "no..." And it hurts my feelings and eventually I just end up being really quiet around her because I can't take it anymore.
We've had the argument and discussion (it's not always an argument) about this before. Last time this happened was March 2020 when the pandemic began and I thought maybe we were both stressed out and in a bad place. I confronted her and said her constant cutting me down is really making me angry and hurt. It made me think of breaking up with her because I don't want life to be like this all the time. Things got a ton better for most of the year, I know it may sound insensitive but the rest of the pandemic was one of the best years of my life because we got along so well and bonded so much more.
Things have been great until now, August 2021. A really long streak. But this week, my god, it's like worse than ever. I can't do ANYTHING without being contradicted or told I'm wrong. And I could either fight back which leads to more bickering back and forth (we had like 6 or 7 bickering arguments yesterday, it's EXHAUSTING), or be quiet and suck it in and hold in all my frustration. Sometimes she'll contradict me and it will be a thing that only a few weeks ago she even SAID or agreed with 100% (which I will point out.)
I don't know why she is like this or what to do. It causes me insane anxiety and tension. I have a ring and want to ask her to marry me (I fell in love with her all over again earlier this year, one of our greatest times ever) but I'm not feeling that romance when she's like this, I just want to be far away from her and try to relax. This year I suffered a few tragic losses and I had to even tell her a few weeks ago "can you PLEASE go easy on me? I'm not in a good place" and I had to KEEP reminding her to stop being so rude and argumentative to me while I'm mourning. It seems to be she has no self-awareness when she's doing it because she always acts surprised when I bring it up.
Anyone know what I mean or have a similar experience? What do you do?
TLDR: GF gets into weird phases of being rude, constantly contradicting me and cutting me down, totally different from how she normally is, and I can't handle it well and I don't know why it happens.
Submitted August 21, 2021 at 08:38AM by TAW12372 https://ift.tt/3j6235p
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