My boyfriend [M19] is going to have to be the primary caretaker for his brother one day and I'm [M19] not sure if I'm ready for that.

My boyfriend and I have been officially dating for almost a year now and it's been almost perfect. We've been a great match and he's always been incredibly supportive of me and I of him, and overall I've never been so happy in a relationship. The biggest thing I love is how open our communication is, which is why I know about the problem I'm asking about.

My boyfriend has a younger brother who he loves a lot but, due to some issues I won't go into, his brother will likely never be able to live alone. This usually hasn't been a problem because I think his brother is cool and I've been trying to learn how to connect with him better. However, recently, my boyfriend's dad had a talk with him that was essentially, "When I'm gone, it's going to be up to you to take care of your brother."

Now, I understand the importance of this. Homes for people like my boyfriend's younger brother are infamously bad, so it's far better to him to stay with someone who understand how to actually help. My boyfriend has told me that even though he's not really happy about one day being the primary caretaker for his brother, he loves him and doesn't want to just send him away to some strangers.

Turning to myself though, I'm not sure if I'm willing to go through with this. I'm in love with this guy and, while I try not to be overly optimistic, I could truly see myself going all the way with him one day. However, regardless of how good it is, I'm not sure how I'd respond if, say, 15 years down the line, we suddenly had to become the primary caretakers for his adult brother with special needs. I want to be fair to him, and I don't know if it's okay to stay in this relationship when I know and am not entirely happy with the fact that at any time in the next few years we could suddenly become responsible for his brother.

This is admittedly a terrible situation, because I know my boyfriend isn't happy with this either, and I think it would be selfish to abandon him over it when he doesn't have a choice. However, I'm genuinely not sure if I would be up to being the primary caretakers. My questions are: Should I break up over something like this? Should we stay together even though I know there's a possibility of a what is probably a deal breaker occurring way down the line? How can I talk to my boyfriend about this while still being respectful of him and his family?

TL;DR: My boyfriend [19M] has just been told he will one day have to take care of his brother and if I [M19] stay with him, I'll have to do that as well. I'm not sure I'm okay with that.

Submitted March 22, 2021 at 01:12PM by throwaway38294573 https://ift.tt/3seAWam