This came out longer than I expected, I'm sorry. Just needed to vent.
Me (22f) and my BF (34) had been together for 3 and a half years, and we had some issues that I described on r/relationshipadvice a little while ago, regarding his relationship with his mom.
Well, this past weekend we had made plans to spend some time together just the two of us. Because of covid, we are not allowed to be out after 10pm where I live, so we were gonna just have some wine and some joints in the backyard while stargazing. Sounds cool, right? Right. The issue is, when he arrived to pick me up, he had forgotten the wine bottle and because of lockdown, there was nowhere we could buy it at the time. Ok, we could stop at his place to take It before going to the backyard. I really didn't want to, because I knew we would get stuck there with his mom and his cousin if we got into the house, but it was our only option, so we did. And yeah, you've guessed it, we ended up stuck there with his mom and his cousin.
So, monday we had a little talk where I asked If he ever intended on getting married, leaving his mother's house and living with me, or if he intended on keeping our relationship like this forever. I don't really know what happened, I guess I just used the wrong words for it, but he got really mad. This turned into an argument, things got heated and we both said things we shouldn't (me more than him, tbh).
Last night, I wanted to talk so we could make up, but he was a little late and I was so overwhelmed with my feelings and the fear he was gonna dump me (I have some anxiety issues), that I said more things I shouldn't, gave him an ultimatum that he HAD to come talk to me last night or never again. Needless to say, he didn't appreciate that. Neither would I, if I was in his position.
So he got here and we get to talking, but halfway through the conversation I notice there's nothing I can do or say. He's already made his decision. He says he wasn't thinking about marriage anytime soon, and he thought I didn't either, as I always said I don't want kids and want to finish college before anything else. Which is true, I don't intend to marry him anytime soon, but we had been together for a long time and I thought it was reasonable to start talking about it and making plans, just to see if we were on the same page. Well, apparently, we were not. And I really hurt him with the things I said during our argument the night before, and he felt a little uncomfortable being with me right now after that. So, yeah. He dumped me.
I really thought we were gonna have a calm and reasonable conversation (which we did) and be alright again (we didn't). Now, I'm kinda lost. I totally regret saying the things I said, and even starting this conversation, as it was nothing urgent and could have waited (since I didn't plan to do anything about it anytime soon anyway). I really don't know what to do. I feel like this is so small for us to break up over it, and we could make it work if we wanted to. I guess he just doesn't want to, and that hurts like HELL. What should I do?? How can I make things right again???
TL/DR: asked my boyfriend if he had plans to ever marry me. Said some things I shouldn't during this conversation and hurt his feelings, so he broke up with me
Submitted March 24, 2021 at 03:57PM by clueless_mermaid https://ift.tt/3tY92QF
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