My (32F) husband (33M) lost his weight and gained muscle and is now a very attractive guy. I feel consumed by anxiety about other women trying to flirt with him now. I also feel almost bad for him that he has to stay with me now that he could have nearly any women in the world.

Moved to Melbourne in 2008, first person I met was my husband, who was my next door neighbor. He was overweight, about 235 lbs at 6'0 (or 108kg at 182cm). In the past 15 months or so, hes lost the weight. Specifically, he started biking for his new job, and I suppose those extra calories just pushed him over the edge. Then he was so happy at the lost weight that he started going to the gym. He was always a pretty handsome guy even though he was overweight, but WOW, he just slowly transformed into being unbelievably handsome, and in the past few months he went from losing weight to gaining muscle and now has a pretty fit, toned body. He went from looking like Jonah Hill to Jake Gyllenhaal. I am not even exaggerating, if I saw him on the street and didn't know him, I would think he is VERY attractive, its not just that I am his wife and am biased. Its hard to describe just how much this has changed him. He went from depressed to being just super happy. This is an overall good... but its causing me some problems.

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There is a noticeable attractiveness difference between us now. I don't really want to hear the whole 'be more self confident' stuff, I am comfortable with my looks but I am not going to pretend that I am good looking or anything. People pretty much constantly assume I am his sister or something, they rarely ever assume we are husband and wife, to the point that women will actively flirt with him in front of me, not realizing I am actually his wife, and when he points it out they act surprised. Its especially bad when we go to the beach, which we do a lot (we live very close). You can literally see other groups of women staring at him when he has his shirt off. As much as I want to say this stuff doesn't bother me, it does. It makes me feel gross that so, so many women want my husband like this. It distracts me every time I see a woman give him 'that look' on the street, you know, the kind of seductive half-smile look. Especially women who are very attractive, and in Melbourne there are a lot of those. And he notices this stuff, I am 100% sure of it, and that more than anything just makes me feel kind of sick.

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It feels at times like this is a new him, and he didn't predict this would have happened to him, and if he did, I am not entirely sure he would have married me. I was only the second women he ever slept with, and the first time was apparently awful. Now he has young attractive women flirting with him in the open and he cant do anything about it because he married me before he even knew this was an option for him. I feel terrible, like I am almost some kind of bad anchor that he accidentally married before he knew he would turn hot, and that I have sort of ruined the amount of fun he could be having. He hasn't made any indication that he wants to leave, he still loves me a lot and I don't think he would ever leave me or cheat on me. We get along far too well, I think he knows we are both soulmates. But I cant help but think part of him wishes that he met me like... in 2022 or 2023. I know he is aware that he is missing out, how could he not be? We can all play pretend and act as if truly loving husbands literally never have any thoughts about other women, but that is a lie, they do think about other women, they just don't entertain those thoughts. No guy is going to just completely ignore and mentally block out a beautiful young blonde girl in a bikini giving him a seductive smile on the street, especially someone who isn't used to that.

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I almost feel bad, I feel like I almost wish he would just get it out of his system and sleep around with these girls and then we can return to our marriage, but I know that is impossible. I think that I somewhat have internalized feeling bad for him, because for most of the time we've known each other he has been in worse shape mentally than I have been, suffering from depression and losing his parents and suffering from bullying and all that.

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Has anyone else felt this way or been in this situation? How did you guys feel about it? Am I acting kinda weird or crazy or is this somewhat of a normal response? Idk what to do.

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TL;DR - - husband lost a ton of weight and gained muscle, and now he's hot. I feel bad that he doesn't really get to take advantage of this and sleep with women who are flirting with him. I feel like an anchor from his past life.

Submitted January 21, 2021 at 05:57PM by melbornycarhorder67 https://ift.tt/3qFjmLA