I (29F) am having some major confusion about my boyfriend (30M) and I just wanted to see if maybe it’s obvious and I’m just being foolish.
My boyfriend and I have had issues in the past with him not talking to me for days/weeks because he’s depressed or not feeling like talking. As someone with depression and anxiety, I get that. However, we had an agreement that if we just didn’t talk (voice, text, video—we’re long distance) for 2 weeks without warning, we needed to break up because communication was important to both of us.
Just before Christmas, I asked to break up because of other reasons that I’ll detail only if necessary for context. He asked me to take a break instead, so we did. He promised we’d talk and work on things. He didn’t reply to me or my attempts to reach out until just before 2 weeks were up—on New Year’s Eve. We talked for a few hours, cried, reconciled and promised to be better.
That was the last time we spoke up to current time. We text sparingly but he hasn’t responded to my messages in nearly two weeks, hasn’t voice chatted with me in three. I know he’s around because he’s responding to other people and streaming games. He just won’t answer me.
Is this his way of breaking up with me? If it is, I wish he would have just agreed to break up when I asked or at the end of our break.
Is he just needing a break and should I wait? But waiting for him this long with no word and knowing he can stream for 12+ hours and chat with others the whole time hurts a little.
Am I just being needy? Please tell me if this is the case because I want to make sure I’m not being unhealthily clingy.
Do I just...leave? It feels wrong to just ghost him but he isn’t answering me and every day that goes on makes me feel worse about myself—like I’m not worth being spoken to. But I know it isn’t all about me and maybe he just doesn’t feel like talking to me right now, just his friends. Especially cause I understand his mental health struggles...
I don’t know what to do.
TLDR: Boyfriend and I haven’t spoken in 3 weeks, hasn’t responded to my messages in 2 but I know he’s around and alright—what do I do?
Update: I sent the last message wishing him well and saying goodbye then deleted him. A mutual friend that was on his stream told me he referenced it and called me “just a friend that didn’t understand” and “pushed me to talk just cause I can stream for hours and not respond”. So I guess I was hanging on for nothing. I’m still really appreciative for all the input and advice—gonna go cry awhile.
Update 2: Several of our mutual friends messaged me to tell me that he admitted on stream that he’s been flirting with “lots of girls that he streams with/come to his streams” and that it meant nothing these last 3 weeks because he didn’t have anyone and was depressed. I feel so stupid for waiting for him.
Submitted January 21, 2021 at 06:16AM by Technical-Ad-1484 https://ift.tt/396tuXV
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