I [19F] overheard my boyfriend's [28M] Dad [50'sM] saying super vulgar things about me. Boyfriend thinks I'm exaggerating. What do I do?

So I started dating this really great guy about 7 months ago. Things have been really good. We aren't taking things super fast, he's finishing his medical school and I'm working on becoming a nurse's aid. So we are a touch busy and have really enjoyed taking things slow.

With covid no longer being a risk where we live, we finally did a small family dinner at his parent's place. His Dad is a dentist and his Mom a dental hygienist. Mentioning this so you know that they are very well off. Which is relevant because I was really intimidated at first because my family is squarely middle class. So I was ultra aware of my manners and tried my best to dress nicely and give a good impression. His house is fancier than the fanciest hotel I've ever stayed in. We don't have staff, a pool, etc. But my boyfriend encouraged me that his family is really welcoming and non-intimidating and to relax, so I tried my best to be personal and not overly nervous and formal.

So, we went to dinner and they were very nice. Cut to after dinner and I was helping his Mom with dishes and we were chatting. She was saying really nice things about my boyfriend and said that he speaks really highly of me. I was super excited to hear that. She was really nice. She asked me if I wanted to go ask the boys if they wanted dessert. They were downstairs playing pool. I went down and asked my boyfriend, and he told me he would be up in a few, and that his Dad was just on the porch having a cigar if I wanted to go ask him.

So I went out to the porch and around the corner to ask him, and heard he was talking on the phone. I didn't want to interrupt him so I lingered to wait for a pause in conversation. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, it just happened. I realized he was talking about me and said multiple things like "you should see the ass on her" and "I hope for B's (my boyfriend) sake she's putting out. Hot damn." and "She's got a rack like you wouldn't believe, you would hardly have to do anything to her" (I assume talking to a surgeon friend?) and various things like that. I went back in and just told my boyfriend he was on the phone and went back upstairs. I didn't know what to say so I just didn't mention it. I was just so shocked and felt weirdly violated.

A bit later I thanked his Mom and Dad for dinner and said I had a stomach ache and asked if my boyfriend could drive me home. I told him in the car and at first he didn't believe me. When I insisted, he kind of chuckled and said that his Dad was just "A ladies man, but would never cross a line. He loves my Mom" and "He's just old school" and asked me just to not take it personally and to laugh it off. When I insisted some of it was super rude and demeaning, he told me not to be sensitive about it and that he might not have even been talking about me (I'm certain he was). I haven't really stopped thinking about it and I'm not really sure how to address it with anyone from here. Advice?

TL;DR Overheard my boyfriend's Dad saying rude things about me and my boyfriend told me to drop it, but I can't seem to. Advice on how to handle things from here? Is this a no-going-back red flag?

Submitted January 20, 2021 at 11:01PM by jujubajingle https://ift.tt/3sJQjZb