I (M41) have been separated from my wife (F36) for about a year. We share custody of our children (M9 and M12). Her general distaste for life has been going on for some time. Her complaints were usually about the amount of dishes to wash (we didn't have a dishwasher), or how much effort the kids took, or how she hated her job, or how she hated cooking. At the time she told me she wanted a divorce, I was doing all the household chores, most of the cooking, working two jobs, maintaining the vehicles, doing the yard work, and taking care of the children whenever I wasn't working. She was unemployed.
She told me and our counselor she wanted a divorce because I didn't do enough for her around the house.
She's in a new relationship now which I don't *love* the thought of, but I was hoping the independence and her new partner would improve things. Unfortunately, things are getting worse. The kids say things like "she freaks out every night after we go to bed" (don't know what "freaks out" means and they wouldn't elaborate), "she hates cooking but she has to do it anyway", "she doesn't like having kids around because we're so much work", "she's always in a bad mood".
Today, my 12-year-old told me he needed new shoes because the ones he has hurt his toes but made me "PROMISE not to tell Mom because she won't be able to handle it". (I will be buying new shoes first thing tomorrow.)
This strikes me as something that is not sustainable long-term. But doing all the things she doesn't like for her didn't help, and counseling didn't help. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
tl;dr: My ex is never happy; it's obvious to the kids; what do?
Submitted December 05, 2020 at 12:20PM by Recent-Set1650 https://ift.tt/3gs6vZv
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