My best friend slept in my arms last night and I think that’s what’s gonna get me through the rest of this year.

I originally posted this is r/casualconversation but I think it will fit here too.

A little backstory, my best friend (20f) and I (21m) have known each other since we were 9, and have always been friends. In high school we drifted into different circles but after we graduated we ended up in the same area for school, and started hanging out a lot. We had a little thing together for a little while but it ended up being too much for her to handle at the time, but we remain best friends despite all that. I still have really strong feelings for her.

So last night my roommates and my best friend went to one of our friends house (I know, COVID, but we were still following our local guidelines) and I DD’d for all of them. We got back super late and everyone went to bed except for me and my best friend. She was REALLY drunk and we sat down to watch a movie and she started to make some moves on me. I let her kiss me a bit but stopped it before it got to be heavier (the last time something like that happened I had no idea she was blacked out and the next morning it was really uncomfortable for her so I told her I wouldn’t let that happen again), and I told her that we could cuddle but we were not going to do anything else. A few minutes later we were tangled up in each other’s arms and she was dead asleep. I’ve never felt more at peace with anyone else there.

My last relationship left me with a lot of baggage and I have a lot a trouble trusting people I have feelings for, even her. I know a lot of my negative thought patterns are exactly that, negative thoughts, things that are feelings but aren’t facts, and I have gotten a lot better with managing them, but I still struggle. Something about her passed out drunk ,snoring, talking in her sleep, the whole shebang, filled me with so much happiness and it was in that moment that I remembered just how much I mean to her, and what she means to me. I’m very lucky having her in my life and even though I know there’s no guarantee that we will ever be more than friends, they feeling was a big fuck you to all the negative thoughts and feelings that bother me at least a little bit of each day.

Love is more than what they show in the movies. It isn’t always boy meets girl, they fall in love, and happily ever after. Sometimes the time just isn’t right and that’s okay. Even though we can’t be together right now, I’m so glad I trusted my gut and decided that relationship or no relationship, I love her and every day I spend with her is a little bit better than without.

TL;DR: My best friend and I slept in each other’s arms last night, and while we both agree a relationship isn’t in our best interest right now, it reminded me just how much we mean to each other. I’m glad I was able to work through the fact we might never be together in a relationship, and still be the best friend and companion I can be to this girl.

Submitted November 01, 2020 at 02:29PM by kr9969 https://ift.tt/34NoeWT