Have been hiding my relationship for 3 years from my parents because I simply do not know how to open up to them and I am sick of it.

I know from the title you all probably think I am crazy, and I kind of think so too. Basically I am 21 and my boyfriend is 22 and we have been in a very happy, committed relationship since I was 18. I love him more than anything and within our relationship there really are no major problems (of course the occasional fight, but nothing bad), and I am SO proud to have him as my boyfriend (a lot of people assume I dont want to tell my parents because I’m ashamed of him or something which is so beyond far from the truth, I genuinely think my parents would love him). All of my outside friends and even my siblings know about our relationship, as well as his family. The problem is, I have tried to muster up the courage to tell my parents for literally 3 years now, and it is so so so impossible for me.

I actually spend quite a lot of time with my family, which makes it harder because iI am literally living a lie, I also get along quite well with my parents, but they are very conservative and growing up we never talked about anything. Like literally nothing- I still am too ashamed to even buy a bra while shopping with my mom (yes, at 21 years old). I love my parents, but the way I was raised has made me literally so embarrassed to bring up anything about my personal life. I have never talked to my parents about boys, friendships, or anything other than surface level stuff for the most part. Any sort of “deep” conversation that gets brought up makes me SO uncomfortable to the point that I won’t stop thinking about it for days. Long story short, this has caused me to hide a perfectly healthy relationship from them for 3 years, and I am absolutely exhausted. I am so done hiding this and I want my families support, but i just do not know how to go about it.

My boyfriend completely understands and is in no way upset with me for not telling them yet- he knows how proud I am to have him and everyone else in our lives know. He has suggested just calling my mom and telling her on the phone, but I live at college and fear that the embarrassment will haunt me and i will just avoid going home to see my parents in hopes that they never bring it up again, bringing me back to square one with some added, unnecessary trauma. My parents also never ask me about any relationship type stuff, so I am the one that will have to bring it up.

Basically, I just really need advice on how to tell them. Ill get blackout drunk if I have to I just cannot live 2 separate lives anymore. Thanksgiving is around the corner and it always hits me harder around the holidays because I want to spend my holidays with my BF and my family but I cant if they dont know. I am truly begging for advice at this point (and yes, i have seen a therapist about this, didn’t really help).

TL/DR: how do i tell my parents about a relationship i have been hiding for 3 years?

Submitted November 23, 2020 at 11:15AM by hmm333 https://ift.tt/3kUBGgl