Some background: my boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year. About 7 months ago, when we were sort of new in our relationship, we made a deal that if I went to the OBGYN for my severely painful cramps, that he would go to a general practitioner for a check-up since he hasn't been to a doctor in over 8 years. Ever since I met him I was always worried something was "wrong" because he is pretty much 6 foot but weighs 122 pounds. He is SEVEN pounds heavier than me, but almost a foot taller than me.
So, understandably, I have some concerns about his health.
We are going to visit my dad next week for Thanksgiving and my dad texted me saying he will pay for our flu shots and that we should get them since the season is coming up. And I said that that's a great idea and I appreciate it, so I mentioned it to boyfriend, and he immediately shut it down. I said "Okay but the flu season is coming up." and he said "that's fine. you should get yours. but i dont want to. he can't make me" which is true, no one can force him to do anything he doesn't want to do. but it scares me that he doesn't worry about his health or seem to really care about it at all. it doesn't worry him that he is severely underweight (really, when I hug him it is like hugging a skeleton and I love him so so so much but it scares me.) then i asked if he would just go to a doctor for a check-up and he snapped and said "whatever, i'll go to a doctor"
now we are in a fight and not talking to each other, just sitting there on our phones and im lost on what to do. i feel guilty, because it's not my place to tell him to go to the doctor and i dont want to mother him or seem like i am trying to mother him but im SCARED. there have been nights i can't sleep because I imagine us getting married several years from now and then i finally convince him to go to the doctor or something happens and he gets very sick and he has some.. life-threatening disease that is making him so skinny and because he hasn't gone to the doctor it's too late- i know it sounds crazy. i just dont wanna lose him. and it really is frightening. and he insists he feels fine but how is he supposed to know if he doesn't go to a doctor?
i need someone to be rational with me. i know that im mothering him trying to get him to a doctor but it's for HIS health (not to mention we made a deal, and I had never been to an OBGYN and had to go alone and i was terrified and in a lot of pain but he told me if i went that he'd go to a doctor. and he hasn't. and it's been 7 months.)
it scares me he doesn't want to take care of himself.
TLDR; I am worried about severely underweight boyfriend's health and he refuses to go to a doctor (I don't know if it's a fear/phobia or he just finds no need in it.) and now we are in a fight because of it and i don't know how to make amends. also what do i do about the situation in general? is there any convincing him or is it too controlling to try?
Submitted November 20, 2019 at 10:27AM by lazyhoneydew https://ift.tt/2D2Z5cg
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