Hey all, keeping this to the point:
My bf and I have been together 7 years for context.
About 5ish years ago I got into a fight with my boyfriends sister because he told me she thought I was a bad option. He comes from a wealthier, tight knit family from Asia and I come from a lower-middle class family in the U.S. Both my bf and his sibling are first gen american.
I know culturally his family holds different values. But when I fought with his sister (we both have very "A-type" personalities) she said something so offensive to my personal life (I won't get into details but it referenced a prior abuse I was the victim of) that I absolutely did not want to see his family anymore. In addition, she said some other insensitive things that were almost demands on what I needed to do in order to be accepted by the family.
My poor bf sided with me and his family sided with his sister. They ceased speaking to me and his sister blocked me on everything. My only requirement for reconciliation was an apology. She said she would never apologize. He disagreed with her but she remained strong on this and claimed she did nothing wrong. He has since felt torn between being with me and his family and I know it has hurt him. I feel like because of me his family relationship is strained.
After a few years it was evident our relationship was serious. His family began begging me to come to holidays and said no one is mad on their side anymore. His sister and I have unblocked each other (but have not spoken) but I still have no desire to see her because our personalities are so polar opposite and I cant let go of what she said since she has yet to show any remorse.
I love my bf and we have extensively spoken about marriage but I really don't want to marry into a family that I cant get along with and who's expectations I can never live up to. I know his parents and grandparents are trying, and I'm happy they are "over it" but I felt like what happened was simply brushed off for the sake of seeing their son.
I really love my bf...we have been together for 7 years now but I feel like maybe it's better if we separate so he can work on his relationship with his family and I wont be forced to be around the people who hurt me so deeply.
Tl;dr due to a fight with my bfs sibling, I havent seen his family in 5 years and have no desire to. I want to get married to my bf but I feel like his family will continuously find me 'less than ideal' and it will hurt me more in the long term. What do I do?!
Submitted November 26, 2019 at 01:33PM by issuesthrowaway69 https://ift.tt/37HCBeL
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