am i (23 f) wrong for having a hard boundary regarding partners who are still good friends with an ex?

All my life, I’ve been called insecure for refusing to date people who are close with their exes. Now, I’m not saying my partner has to hate, dislike or feel indifferent toward an ex. Being “friendly” and being “friends” are two totally different things.

But if I find out someone I’m seeing is still close with an ex-partner, that’s it. I’m not committing.

I’ve always been told that my position is totally wrong, and some people have made what seem to be sensible points. But I personally could never be besties with someone I used to sleep with, cuddle up to at night, imagine a future with....never. That kind of romantic energy can’t just be shut off, in my opinion.

No matter how many friends and loved ones tell me I’m missing out on good partners because of this boundary, I can’t change how uncomfortable it makes me / how I genuinely don’t believe it’s possible to be 100% platonic with someone you used to truly love.

I recently met a guy who seems great for me, but he’s good friends with his ex (they go to dinner together a few times a month, go to the movies / the park, hang out consistently) so I’ve told him we’ll just have to be friends. He’s been understanding and seems cool with it, but my mom and best friend say I’m letting my insecurities talk me into making a huge mistake.

Am I wrong for not budging on this?

TLDR: I will not date people who are close friends with their exes. Is this something I need to fix or is it an appropriate boundary to have?

Submitted November 27, 2019 at 01:25PM by slightlysillyy https://ift.tt/2XS55Oz