I [28F] recently had a friend [25F] tell me that my uncle [45M] sent her and her friend potentially innapropriate messages when they were teens.

I was having a chat with a good friend of mine the other night. I've known her since I was 9 years old. She was with her roommate, who we'll call Alicia.

Alicia and I share a cousin. My cousin is also her cousin, but her and I don't share any blood relation. The cousin that we share is a train wreck and we initially started chatting about him, and sharing stories about him. During the end of the conversation she says, "hey, just so you know, your uncle (cousin's dad) sent me and my friend a lot of messages when we were teenagers. It kind of trailed off once we got older... Maybe because we grew out of his age range."

To be honest, I was disappointed, and upset, but not entirely surprised. Thinking back, I remember his best friend who was in his thirties telling my 13 year old friend that she had beautiful eyes. I also remember them taking me mini golfing when I was 12 or 13, and my uncles friend coming up behind me with his front pressed against my back, he put his hands on my hands, and swayed me back and forth in a teacher type fashion. At the time I felt excited that this older man was paying attention to me in that way, but now I'm not so sure. But I do believe that sometimes you are the company you keep. My uncle himself was never physically inappropriate towards me, but he did laugh at his friend who was doing these things during Mini golf.

I've also heard stories of him messaging adult friends of female family members flirtatiously. He also has messaged my female coworkers in the same nature. My coworkers range from 21 to 28.

He was in a position of power, working as a counsellor for Alicia and her friend in a camp type position. He was in his thirties. It's not okay for him to be messaging these young girls on FB.

I didn't mention yet, but for this entire time he has had a girlfriend - now fiancé, and he now has two daughters who are under the age of 10.

I'm waiting on screenshots from Alicia, but I honestly have no reason not to believe her. She's a smart, cool, kind, normal girl. I know that once she sends me those screenshots I'll be able to see exactly what she's told me is true.

I really don't know how to move forward. These aren't illegal things that he's done - not that I know of anyway. The messaging is grossly and wildly inappropriate, but... I just feel lost. I don't want to break my family apart, especially as my grandparents get older, and my grandma is going to radiation for a brain tumor. I don't want to be disowned for speaking up. I don't want dinners to get uncomfortable because I've called my uncle out for his behavior. I'm lost. My main struggle is that I don't know how to broach the subject if I do decide to speak up.

TL;DR: a good friend of mine has alleged that my middle aged uncle sent her and her teenaged friend inappropriate, and flirtatious messages when he was in his thirties, and also in a relationship. He had 2 daughters, is engaged, and has shown this behavior towards my early-twenties friends in the past. He's always been a womanizer, but I hoped he'd never go this far.

Submitted November 28, 2019 at 09:12PM by throwingpoopypoop https://ift.tt/37QvCAb