My husband (40M) let his former/current (who knows?) homeless drug addict brother (38M) move in with us. I did not want this to happen but my husband was very serious about it. Backed into a corner, I reluctantly agreed. Found out later husband wasn't honest about how bad the situation was and took on significant debt to help brother get moved and settled.
The dude has been here six months, doesn't pay rent, rarely goes to work, and is just oblivious. He's a terrible housemate and doesn't pull his weight despite being asked repeatedly to do his share. I'm not sure if his brain is fried from drug use or if he is just that much of an asshole. I guess you could say it's not going well.
Husband and I have addressed the lies, which almost split us up (classic case of, "I didn't tell you because you would say no and he was in big trouble" kind of thing). We have work to do there, but I think we're going to survive that part.
Husband is now trying to deal with brother, who he is now absolutely disgusted with, but they refuse to speak to each other and insist on these passive aggressive games that lead nowhere. I get it, my husband is non confrontational and doesn't communicate well (see lies above). So is his brother. This is awesome!!!
Now we're in this situation that I feel completely trapped in. Brother is practically always in my house, no rent, no chores, eating my food, touching my laundry room, contributing nothing. We are full on supporting him and I did not sign up for that. I want this guy out and my house back so badly I'm considering moving out. But then, why should I move? I'm the one who got screwed over.
I tried talking to him myself once but he yelled at me and completely gaslighted me, so thats it from me. Now it's husband's turn. Husband made this mess, he needs to clean it up. He keeps saying he will, but it hasn't happened.
Has anyone been in this situation before? How do I deal with this guy that I'm stuck with? If he'd just pull his weight (and go to work), I think I could tolerate him until he eventually moves on, but right now I am positively stewing with anger and resentment. What can I do to either keep the peace or make this end?
Tl;Dr: Husband allowed his brother to move in with us six months ago against my wishes and wasn't truthful about the situation. We're paying all his bills and he's a terrible housemate. Husband has come around but he and brother don't communicate. I'm at my wit's end.
UPDATE I'm in the bedroom watching TV giving them some space. TV got quiet for a second and I heard them talking. I didn't hear much but the tone made me happy. Send good vibes.
Submitted November 27, 2019 at 12:49PM by throwaway18364758392 https://ift.tt/2KYsp7U
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