My (25/M) recently single friend (28/F) asked me if I want to have casual sex with her and I don't know what to do.

We've been friends for three years. At the start I had a crush on her for a little bit but I got over it after she started dating this other guy (30/M) who is now her ex. From what I was told, he had cheated on her multiple times with some girl from where he works and she found out after the girl got in contact with her in order to get back at him for trying to call it off. Bit of a messy situation all around. She was very upset for about a month and then she slowly started going on nights out with the group again. I would say she's been doing well but I'm not sure she's completely over what happened.

After a few too many the other night, I walked her back to her apartment and she was basically flirting with me the whole way. I figured she was just drunk and that it didn't mean anything but then a few days later she sent me a text message a good hour or two after we had finished having lunch together basically saying that she wants to have casual sex with me and that if I don't want that she will fully leave me alone and never so much as utter a word of this again. She worded it in a nicer, more eloquent manner. And it was sent to me just a day ago. I told her that I needed time to think it through.

I was shocked. I had no idea she was even attracted to me like that, let alone that she wanted to full-on have sex. Usually I try not to get involved with friends in my immediate circle because it could create problems if things turn out badly but I can't really see that happening with our personalities. We're both very quiet and stay away from drama and never act out or talk badly about exes even if they deserve it. Obviously because she went through a rough breakup not too long ago, I would first like to make sure that she really wants this for herself and not just for the sake of getting with someone else because her ex did. It's none of my business what went on with them but as her friend of three years I would hate to get involved if she's not emotionally ready for something like that.

As far as I know she has never had casual sex outside of a relationship before. I get that she's an adult and that she's fully capable of making her own decisions concerning sex and everything else and that she doesn't need me to worry, but that doesn't change the fact that she went through a huge life change last month and might not actually want to take that step with me. What if it happens and she wishes she could take it back and our friendship crashes and burns as a result? I don't know what to do. I would probably feel more comfortable taking things there if she hadn't just gone through a huge breakup.

She thought she was going to marry this guy.

Not sure what to do. On the one hand I want to go ahead with it because I'm attracted to her and I have a good feeling it won't result in drama no matter what happens but on the other hand I don't want to take advantage of the situation.

Thoughts?

If I say no, how should I word it? I don't want to embarrass her or anything.

tl;dr Although I'm attracted to her and would like to go ahead with this, I don't want to take advantage of the situation as she did just go through a rough breakup and is likely not over what happened. Not sure what to do.

Submitted November 29, 2019 at 01:46AM by friendwith https://ift.tt/34zt7jE