My mother (43f) won’t stop bossing me around. She thinks she has CONTROL over everything and can tell me to do anything she wants.

My mother tells me because she is my mother I have to do what she wants me to do. I (22f) do not live with her anymore, and I pay my own bills and rent. The only thing she pays is my phone bill and my health insurance (because I can stay on her insurance until I’m 26 - legally, which makes her copay cheaper and she asked me to stay on her phone bill, because with a family plan the more people - the cheaper). This week she asked me to drive 40+ minutes (40 mins there and 40 mins back) to her home to do something for her that she forgot to do (because she wanted to see her boyfriend and forgot). Mind you, in the past I used to drop everything to help her. I sacrificed a few years of my college experience just to move back home and help her with my younger sister. I have been taking up parent duties since I was 12. Now that I’m moved out and on my own I stopped doing it all for her, but she won’t stop smothering me. She threatens to remove me from her phone bill and her insurance all because I didn’t go to her home and turn off her lights/let the dog out. I have no idea what to do, because I can’t cut her off (she’s my mother I want a good relationship with her) but she is acting so toxic. I feel like I’m getting older and the time where I was helping her daily is over. I’m paying my own bills, I have my own little life now. How can I respond to her 8 text messages she sent me about how she can “tell me” what to do, because she’s my mom. Is she being a mother or is she being bossy? Help

TL:DR - mother is smothering me. Mad I moved away even though she was controlling me when I lived with her. Threatens to remove my phone bill when I don’t do what she wants every week. She calls me every week demanding I do something for her, without even asking me how I’m doing at my new job or how I’m dealing with this new financial independence.

Submitted November 25, 2019 at 10:57AM by tcherie035 https://ift.tt/2DhqC9N