We have been together in a long distance relationship for about 2 years and a half now, we live in two diffrent continents but manage to meet every two months or less.
He called me one morning last year and asked :' how about we get married, I love you anyways and I wanna spend my life with you and marriage will solve some of our issues and make it easier for us to close the distance "and I will pay less €taxes once we start living together" '
I was really surprised by this as we talked about it before and decided we won't get married until we live together for a while to know what it really feels like.
We didn' t talk about it much when we met again during several occasions. Fast-forward to April 2019, I ask him about our future plans, he says he is still insistant on getting married and he's waiting for his grandma to meet me and give him her ring as she promised him long ago to propose with ( long before he even met me).
Meanwhile he has no idea about the marriage procedure, he didn't check any info whatsoever, I'm always the one checking diffrent forums and websites and sending him links and insisting on him to check them.
He was supposed to go to the townhall near his house but he postponed that for months until I couldn't take how passif he was and told him if he really wanted to get married he would have been searching for the required documents, planing a proposal and all especially when I had so much on the stick (I'm an exmuslim, and he's atheist, I have been dating him secretly all this time cos I wasn't safe enough to come out to them yet, I had my diploma to finish and had to plan alot of things accordingly..)
Eventually he asked his townhall and we started gathering the papers, with no proposal or ring.
I always told him what kind of proposal I really liked, sthg private and romantic, like a trip somewhere in the middle of nature or on a beach alone with him, I told him I don't care abt the value of the ring but I really wanted him to take the iniative with the proposal and make it special ( he never plans anything, never celebrates birthdays or anniversaries or valentines, I usually make him a cute video or a cute card or send him a package in the mail but he says he hates the concept of being forced to celebrate sthg just cos it happens to occur on a certain date).
I never manage to meet his grandma and she never mentions the ring to him so he finally decides to get his own.
Fast-forward to last Tuesday night, I flew to his place since we had an appointment to deposit our marriage dossier yesterday. As we are taking the subway back from the airport, the other side of the station was empty so he said let's check it while waiting for our train to come. He then says : I know I already know ur answer but would you marry me? And he hands me the box, it was the ring I liked in Swarovski when we were looking around and I really do like it, it was too small so he apologized and told me I can go change it to a bigger size the next day when he is at work. Then we went to take the train as it already came.
I was so extremely desapointed I just wanted to go home and cry. I have been dreaming about this moment for years. I feel like I'm an asshole because what matters afterall is being with him but at the same time I don't really see myself as a demanding person. I have gone out of my way and sometimes out of my mind to make this relationship work with him. And it just saddens me that sthg I waited for for so long ended up to be like this : a proposal in an abondant station.
I tried telling him in a joking way I wasn't expecting the proposal to be like this, he said he just thinks thoughtful proposals are so fake and wanted to do it fast before depositing the dossier..
I have been trying my best to get over this but I just can't, I feel what was supposed to be a very romantic special filled with tears of joy moment is ruined forever. And I truly needed the reassurance of it but now a part of me just feels sad.
TD;LR: bf of 2 years proposes to me on an abandant station that meant nothing when he knew how special this occasion is for me.
Submitted November 29, 2019 at 03:24AM by karmagotme64 https://ift.tt/34yDeW1
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