[Update] My [23F] boss' [40'sF] housemate [40'sM] swerved his car towards me as a joke, and I'm the only one not laughing.

Original Post

Wanted to start off by saying thank you to everyone who gave me very helpful advice when I posted the first time. Really, truly, thank you. I felt so supported and so validated, and very much so wished I could show the thread to my bosses.

About a week ago, I confronted my boss who was the one in the car laughing at me. It took me literally months to work up the courage, since this kind of conflict (asking for a need/to feel safe) is really hard for me. This is how it went down:

Boss comes in to tell me things before leaving

Me (before she leaves, putting my work down for a second): "Hey, um, can I ask a favor?"

Her: "Yeah?"

Me: "Can [driver who swerved car at me] not come around while I'm here any more?"

Her, serious: "Why, did he do something?"

Me: "A while ago, he swerved his car at me, and everyone laughed, and I'm kind of not over that."

Her, blunt: "...Okay." leaves, slamming the door on her way out

That was my Friday. The day before I came back to work, my bosses texted me saying we would be having a team meeting the morning I returned to the office.

During the meeting, I was told explicitly by both bosses (it was a bit of back-and-forth between the two, but this is the gist of what they both laid on me) :

"You do not get to ask people to not come here. You will be respectful to our guests. When they're here, they're not just hanging out, they're working(*). And they work without getting paid."

*They do a lot of minor handy-man projects like building shelves, painting, minor plumbing, and sometimes hand-writing out some of our documents. They've done some food runs for my boss as well.

Me: "But he swerved his car at me**. It's a** car**, I thought I was going to die! A car isn't a toy!"**

"That's just his normal, I mean, we [bosses are sisters] drive by each other all the time, flip each other off, scream Fuck You in the street. That's how [driver] grew up, that's totally normal for him. If you feel uncomfortable around him, then you can leave."

I was not allowed to speak. I was not allowed to share my piece. My bosses were so aggressively back-and-forth that I felt teamed up against, and that I was being attacked. By the end of the meeting I had my head bent, and was shaking and crying. I lost the ability to speak after being verbally shut down.

I know a lot of you are going to say 'You need to quit your job and find somewhere else'--and yeah, if this was any other company I probably would have quit on the spot. I'm so depressed right now and dread every day I have to go in; but really, I'm not good at anything else. It's a small business and it's something I'm actually really good at; other people who have come in compliment my work: "Wow, this is a professional product!" "That's beautiful!" "Our clients really love you and the work that you do" "We know you're really good at this so we're handing this project off to you, you do such a great job". I get to lock myself in a room and just work alone for hours at a time, which I really need.

Also, since I posted last, I started seeing a therapist. Since this incident (the team meeting), I started seeing her twice a week. She thinks that the work is good for me: she can see how happy the work itself makes me, how it fulfills a part of my life. She also thinks that my bosses are toxic people who clearly trigger me, and she also believes they have some sort of boundary issues and/or personality disorders. She supports me cutting my hours and potentially applying for disability for my mental health problems.

Thank you for reading, I hope everyone is doing okay today <3

Tl;Dr - A few months ago, my boss' in-law swerved his car at me as I was crossing the street. Last week, I asked that he not be allowed at the office any more because I was still hurting over it. I was sat down in a team meeting and told I'm not allowed to ask things like that, and if the in-law is at the office, then I am the one who needs to leave. I'm now seeing a therapist twice a week and she thinks my work environment is toxic.

Submitted February 25, 2019 at 10:57PM by Shattered_Me123 https://ift.tt/2U4rqFD