Nick and I have been together for about five months now, and I would really love an outsider’s perspective on something that’s been happening lately.
I’ve brought it up every time it’s happened, and it keeps happening, which bothers the crap out of me. But perhaps I’m somehow not seeing it the way I should.
Nick has a bit of a need to “defend me” in public, which usually results in awkward moments or fights with strangers, largely from affronts that I genuinely believe or either imagined or taken overly personally.
For example, in the supermarket yesterday, Nick walked halfway through the store just to turn around, walk back, and force a woman to move her cart so he could get by her. He didn’t NEED to get by her, but apparently she had been rude to me. And he had to “stand up for me” by getting in her way and “having the last word.”
This woman had indeed said excuse me earlier so I would step aside. I didn’t take it as particularly rude at all, but apparently, “I didn’t see it.”
Similar things have happened when someone “looked at us funny” at the movies, when someone was “whispering about us” at the coffee shop, and other similar incidents.
In Nick’s mind, I should be grateful he stood up for me, and sure, everyone wants a partner on their side. But I’m just non-confrontational, and I really didn’t feel the need to be defended in any of these situations.
That said, Nick is following this argument to the logical extreme. He’ll just “be quiet” and let people “walk on me.”
What do I do? I’m afraid I know the long-term answer, but where is the line in standing up for your partner?
Tl;dr: Partner defends me from imaginary slights and causes odd public situations. I don’t want him to, but he thinks I should be grateful he’s standing up for me.
Submitted February 25, 2019 at 08:24AM by renewalthree https://ift.tt/2TfhWu5
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