I (F/20) don't know how to get over resentment over being a "third parent" for my little brother (10/m)

When my brother was 3 I became his babysitter since he got out of school at like 4-5 pm until our parents came home, during the weekends if my parents needed to run errands and every holiday. I was the one who had to teach him how basically wipe himself, use a landline to call someone in case of emergency and just general things. obviously, I wasn't exactly the best at it since I was a kid but I did my best.

Ever since the beginning, I let my parents know that I hated this arrangement but due to financial reasons and since our grandparents were too old to babysit a toddler full time I was the only choice. I even put limit growing up saying that once I started my senior year they would have to find someone else, and after that when college started they would need to find someone else. But they didn't. I'm in college now and since it's too close to home I commute there instead of moving out which mean that, guess what? I'm still the sitter.

I guess that the worst part is that this whole thing was treated like it was expected of me, no one consulted me and no one took into account that maybe I wanted some time to be a teen without being responsible for someone else. It especially bothered me when we were all out in public and I would scold my brother over something and my parents would tell me to let them be the parents as if I could just switch what I had to do every day of the week from parent mode to sibling mode.

I genuinely thought that I had worked through the resentment towards my parents for this whole thing but I saw a post somewhere else that just brought back all of the hurt over it. I don't know, now that I'm older I've realized that having to mature too fast really left me immature in a way? and now I feel like a child thinks and adult acts instead of how an adult should actually act.

I've tried talking to my parents about all of this but because this is such a common thing in my culture no one thinks it's a big deal. And now everyone asks me about kids of my own, including my parents, and I don't really know how to tell everyone that I already help raise a kid and I'm in no hurry to do it again.

This is all such a mess but when I began to write I realized I needed to vent all of this and that I actually haven't dealt with anything and have just bottled everything up. I guess I just want to know how I can work through this (preferably on my own).

TLDR; I was made to be my little brother's third parent and now a lot of built-up resentment/hurt has surfaced and I don't know how to handle it.

Submitted February 01, 2019 at 11:36PM by AnxiousToday http://bit.ly/2D3FurL