I (28f) need to leave my fiancé (33m) of 7 years because he just isn’t nice to me, but I’m scared of the change.

I’ve been with my fiancé for 7 years. Engaged for 3. I think (I know) I need to end it. I did 2 years ago, and I should have stuck with it, but after 3 months he talked me round and we got back together.

He shouts at me every day. Not even in arguments or specifically at me, just raises his voice all the time even though he knows it scares me. We’ve talked about it a lot over the years. Sometimes it gets better for a week or two but it always goes back.

Now and again when arguments are bad (not often, maybe once every 3-6 months) he calls me names and insults me.

I have a disability I’m struggling with. On my bad days I cry and I’ve previously told him it makes me feel suicidal — I don’t tell him when I feel this way anymore because he says “why haven’t you just killed yourself then”.

He does maybe 10% of the housework. I do the rest. This has been talked about to death, but it doesn’t change.

He can be controlling. I’m not really friends with many of the people I was 7 years ago, and certainly none of the males.

Obviously it’s not all bad, and we do have fun and he has been good to me sometimes, but it’s at a point now where it’s 70% bad and I can’t cope being treated like this. the thought of living like this and experiencing this every day is more scary than leaving.

But I am terrified of leaving. We live together and have another 9 months on the lease. (We can’t get out early, I’ve checked with the landlord). I don’t have friends/family to move with, we live in a small place with one bed and no space for another. It’s too expensive for either one of us to live there alone. I know that this is not a reason to stay, and I’m not at all thinking it is, it’s just part of why I’m worried about leaving.

It’s new years eve 11pm and I’m in bed alone crying because he’s ignored me all day. Because he got drunk last night and woke me up at midnight when I had work at 6am, and I couldn’t get back to sleep so I was upset this morning because I was tired. And for that he’s ignored me all day. He didn’t say sorry. I’m not sure how this makes me in the wrong? But he’s completely blanked me.

I’m so done.

I don’t really know why I’m posting. I guess I could really use some comments or experiences or words of wisdom about ending a 7yr relationship/engagement? I’m scared. Any advice?

Tl;dr My fiancé just isn’t kind to me and I can’t do it anymore. I need to leave but I’m scared and wondered if anyone had any words of advice for ending a 7 year relationship?

edited to add I’m trying to respond to everyone individually because you’ve no idea how much this means to me— but I just wanted to also say an overall thank you. I didn’t expect people to be so kind and supportive. Thank you.

Submitted December 31, 2018 at 03:15PM by vrythngnchd http://bit.ly/2TfT4yK