TL;DR I (27f) went away for work to an exotic location and developed a dumb high school secret crush on my coworker (30m)
Throwaway and mobile so sorry for formatting
Background: I am in a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend (29m) of 6 years. We’re very trusting of each other, great sex, we’re very happy etc... he’s the best so before you even say it, no we’re not breaking up over something so trivial.
The situation: I am lucky enough to travel frequently for work to beautiful locations and meet lots of different people. Last year I went on a 2 month trip abroad and I met a new coworker, we’ll call him B, and we just clicked from day one. At first it was more like a friend crush, we worked closely together and I found myself wanting to spend time with him because we shared a lot of interests and similar sense of humour and I don’t know what happened Reddit but one day I woke up and I’d caught The Feels.
From the moment I realised that I started to think about B in more than just a friendly way I tried to shut it down. I made sure I never spent time alone with him if I could help it, we never messaged unless it was about work and I started to watch my actions so as not to encourage anyone (including myself) thinking I had feelings for B. It’s also important to note that B is in a relationship with someone and never outwardly showed that he felt the same way. All this fretting added a whole load of unnecessary stress and I found myself getting anxious and annoyed by it a lot.
I then tried to focus all my energy on my relationship back home, and that worked a treat to begin with. By the end of the 2 months away I came home and things went back to normal. I’ve not seen or interacted with B since except the occasional message in a group chat or happy birthday etc. 5 months went by without me even thinking about B as anything more than a friend and all was good.
Until, I heard of another travel opportunity to the same place with potentially the same team and my tummy started doing backflips again, I’ve not been able to stop thinking about the possibility of seeing B again and I literally think about it every 5 minutes, it’s driving me insane, I can’t sleep, all the stress and anxiety over B has come back, he sent me a message asking if I was going and my heart felt like it was at 200bpm, I literally feel like a high schooler. I’ve even thought about not going on the trip but that would potentially harm the rest of my team and the project that we’re working on. Plus, I love my job.
I’ve not told a soul about these feelings (except for you internet strangers) part of me wants to tell my boyfriend but I don’t want to hurt him, especially if this is something I can fix on my own.
So what do I do Reddit? How do I make these feelings disappear?
Submitted January 29, 2019 at 03:00AM by throwawaybees178 http://bit.ly/2DFH04N
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