I’ve been best friends with Katie for nearly six years. We met at work and quickly became best buds. We have the same deplorable sense of humor, same “favorites”, and joke about being each other’s platonic soul mate. She’s been by my side for several life changing events and vice versa.
Lately, I’ve been getting the feeling that she’s just not into our relationship anymore. Actually, it’s pretty obvious and this wouldn’t be the first time we’ve had a falling out but I’m at the point where I’m just ready to call it quits and go our separate paths.
Just a few examples of situations over the past year and a half:
Constantly brags about her husbands income, what they have in savings, credit card limits, etc. Her husband has worked, incredibly hard, for the same company for nearly 20 years. He started at the bottom and is now one of their top 10 execs. Naturally he’s compensated well for it. She does not work. However, when she met my husband (then boyfriend), she would not talk about anything else besides how much he makes, what they have, what they do, etc. Despite us trying to steer the conversation elsewhere somehow she managed to pull the conversation back to income. When we got home my husband apologized for not making as much as her husband. I don’t care about the money, we’re comfortable, our needs and wants are met. I felt awful for not sticking up for my husband and telling her to STFU. I promised him if it happened again I’d handle it, luckily it hasn’t.
Complains about a mutual friend of ours ignoring her attempts to get together while also doing the same to me. We live about 3 hours away from one another so we have to schedule Girl’s Nights in advance. A mutual friend of ours, Anna, has visited Katie’s city several times and Anna will either flake out completely or make excuses as to why she can’t get together with Katie. Katie gets upset then complains to me about it. Katie has also begun doing this to me as well, while simultaneously complaining (projection much?). Katie will visit her family, other friends, and various social events (all located in my city) and I won’t even know she’s in town, or was in town, until I see it on social media, geotags and all.
Katie has asked me to go on girls trips with her and some of her hometown friends, months in advance. Usually nothing else gets said about it besides suggesting a date so I assume plans didn’t work out, later I see pictures on social media with her on said girls trip. This has happened more than once.
Most recently, I got engaged and married within the past year (engaged late last year, married last month). This is my second marriage, my first relationship with someone who treats me the way I deserve to be treated. (Katie was there during the marriage and subsequent divorce from my ex. She even helped me move out, U-Haul and all). Needless to say I was ecstatic when he proposed and started planning right away and immediately asked Katie to be my Maid of Honor, literally within the hour that he had proposed. My husband and I decided on a date that meant a lot to us both. When I told Katie, she lost her mind and refused to be a part of our wedding if we kept that date. Our initial date was on a Friday. I wanted Katie to be there so badly so we changed our wedding date. After that debacle I created a Pinterest board where she and I could share ideas and brainstorm. She shared a few pins and ghosted. She didn’t help with anything. Whenever I asked her for her opinion I was always met with “do what you want to do babe, it’s your wedding!” Real helpful. My husbands aunt offered to throw me a bridal shower, something I wasn’t expecting at all and I took her up on the offer. Aunt invited my family, friends from various states, etc. All of whom were able to make it, some flying in from the other side of the country. Of course Katie was invited. Invitations went out in May, the shower was in July. Katie flaked out the morning of the shower, two hours prior so she wouldn’t have made it in time regardless. Katie made the excuse that she had double booked herself, she was so embarrassed, but this was more important. What was more important? A concert. That she bought tickets to the month before. A month after receiving the invite.
Husband and I get married and all is wonderful. I sent Katie a text the day after our ceremony telling her “thank you for being there, I appreciate everything (HA!) you’ve done, I love you have a safe trip home.” What I got in response was “have fun on your honeymoon”. That’s it. She hasn’t initiated contact with me since. No “how was your honeymoon?” “How do the pictures look?” Nothing. Nada. Zip.
As an example of my commitment to my friendship with Katie I give you this: late one night, several years ago Katie calls me in tears, absolutely hysterical. Her husband had found out about an affair she was having and had cut up her credit cards, bank cards, etc. completely cut her off with her gas tank on empty and asking if she could possibly stay with me for a while. I told her absolutely, pack a bag right now and come to my place, I’ll come get you or give you money for gas. Whichever you want to do. She didn’t take me up on the offer and she and her husband were able to work things out. Kind of. Not my place, not my business.
Since my last text to her she has not made an effort to contact me. I wanted to see if I was putting in more effort than her. Which, shocker, I am. I last texted her three weeks ago. A grand total of five texts have been sent between us since I got married (seven weeks ago). Three from me, two from her.
Honestly, I’m pissed. I’ve allowed her to manipulate some of my most important decisions to accommodate her and it’s my own damn fault. Despite my anger I want to take the high ground. How do I call her out and end our friendship without being or sounding like a huge asshole?
TL;DR: Need to break up with my flaky, shitty “best friend”.
Submitted November 15, 2018 at 09:47PM by Scissors_Poop https://ift.tt/2PzUAhN
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