Together vs. alone time: how to find a good balance in this busy world? (25F, in need of advice)

I (25F) have had this mind-boggling issue for quite a while now. I've been with my boyfriend for years (he's also 25, and we have been together for 5 years), and we are trying to organize our time spent together. But with endless hours spent discussing the topic, we can't see a good way to handle this.

We are both creative with many hobbies, as well as part of various social groups and friendships. I've noticed that I am a bit more flexible with time (as opposed to his activities, which are fixed on days and hours), and I tend to prioritize him whenever I can. Spending time with him means a lot to me. On the other hand, he urgently needs some alone time during the week and therefore values it if we aren't together a few days of the week (varies, 3-5 days per week). It can really throw him off if I happen to stay over when he has an alone evening planned, even if that's the only time we both have those days.

Through time, I have accepted his needs, and at this point, I wish to ask the following: I know it varies from couple to couple, but is it "wrong" to want to spend more time with your partner? I value a close relationship with calm cohabitation; it grounds me (and gives a heart-warming sense of "family"), even if we do separate activities. I feel as if he has a much more individualistic mindset than me. I love him dearly, but now I feel like I am suppressing my own desired way of life. We tried to set aside a specific time of the week for a date, but it started to feel rigid and forced to us.

Does any of you have a similar issue? Was it a deal-breaker in the long run? What's your concept of spending time alone vs. together? Has anyone felt guilty for wanting to spend time with your SO? Thank you for your insights; it would be great to hear different opinions. :)

TL;DR : Long term relationship, two busy people. One more individualistic, the other one values living together (and feels guilty for doing so). Where's the balance?

Submitted March 25, 2023 at 01:05PM by RainyEmpire https://ift.tt/7KdqYXy