My (31M) GF (29F) invited her best friend (29F) to our romantic trip. Now she is angry I wasn't thrilled about it.

I ( 31M) have been going out with Lara (29F) for 5 years. We are generally a good couple, we have fun together, get through hard time together and all in all we support each other in every situation.

There are a couple of things that bother me, though:

-the first is that our anniversaries never go well: Be it a snowstorm, one of us getting sick or something urgent suddenly happening, something always happen to prevent us from celebrating our anniversary the way we want to. After 5 years, we don't even get particularly angry when it happens.

- the second is that I have to constantly share Lara with her best friend of 16 years, Jenna (29F). Don't get me wrong, Jenna is cool and I like to spend some time with the three of us and I would never tell her something like " I don't want you to spend so much time with your BF.". It's just that sometimes Jenna is... pushy? ( I'm not english so I'm not sure if it's the right term). For example, from time to time me and Lara organize a movie night just for the two of us and more than half of these times Jenna ends up joining us. Lara is an amazing woman and she loves Jenna like a sister. She would never turn her down.

Here comes the current situation:

Last Monday was our fifth anniversary. Since all the previous one went meh, we decided to do something big this time: we organized a 4 days trip (from Monday to Thursday).

Unfortunately, disaster struck again: Jenna's boyfriend dumped her 3 days before our trip. They had been together for 3 years and it was a bad break up. Jenna was a mess so me and Lara spent Friday, Saturday and a good chunk of Sunday trying to cheer her up.

By Sunday, though, nothing had changed. Jenna was still a crying mess and Lara was still worried sick about it.

Lara ended up inviting Jenna to come with us on the trip to cheer her up. I wasn't thrilled about it but I already knew something like this was going to happen so I made peace with it even before she proposed it.

We were able to change most of the activities and hotel reservations to include a third person.

Now, I guess I have to explain something about myself: I'm good at putting up a facade if needed. I may look happy and cheerful from the outside but be furious or on the verge of crying. ( don't ask me why I can do it. It would be too long to explain).

Out of all the people I know, there are only a few who are able to understand if something is wrong: my mother and my sister ( they have known me for 31 years, it would be weird if they couldn't) and Lara. I confessed to her that sometimes I have to hide my feeling to move on ( mostly at work: I'm a teacher. Even if I'm having a bad day, I have to to look calm, composed and cheerful in front of my students)

The trip went well, Mostly. We were able to cheer Jenna up and Lara had fun too so that's good. For me it was... meh? We visited some good places I always wanted to see so that's good at least. The romantic side of the trip was dead and gone though. We had 0 time alone together and I basically became a third wheel in a BFF trip. I wasn't thrilled about it but looking at the circumstances, I put up with it. Put up a facade, smiled and moved on like always.

We came back, dropped Jenna at her house and went back home. Being tired from driving for so long ( I hate driving) and a bit sad, I guess my facade slipped up and when she said " I think the trip went well, right?" I answered with something like:" Yeah, at least Jenna looks a bit better now." and either my words or my tone weren't as convincing as they should have been. Lara started questioning on what I meant and after a nearly half an hour of questioning, I simply couldn't hold myself back. I ended up saying that while I was happy Jenna had fun and got over her break up, I'm exhausted and irritated that for the fifth time our anniversary went bad and that we basically had no time together as a couple. I said that it's always like this: we make plan to do something together and either a disaster strike or Jenna has to join us. It always happen and I'm simply exhausted. I said that just for once, I would like things to go as planned, to spend some time together, to have a real date as a couple, to spend some quality time together without having to worry about our date being interrupted or postponed or transformed in a group date.

She got angry, said that I'm a selfish AH for not understanding that Jenna needed support, got out of the car ( we were already in our parking lot), got in the house and went to bed immediately.

It's been 3 days and she is still angry. What am I supposed to do to fix the situation

TL;DR : my GF invited her BFF to our romantic trip because her BF dumped her. She is angry I wasn't thrilled about it.

Submitted March 19, 2023 at 03:58AM by ThrowRAgrangran https://ift.tt/dqVyX6f