I, 26F, paid my partner’s (23M) studio to record my band. My friend (28F) says he took advantage of me, I disagree.

TL;DR: my partner owns a professional studio and my band paid him to track/mix/master our first single. Friend thinks he took advantage of me.

My partner owns his studio with two other people, and the three of them set pricing. It’s also a legitimate business, in a leased business space. I didn’t feel comfortable taking advantage of my partner’s, and his colleagues’, skills and time for free, so when I asked if he’d be willing to record/mix/master our single, I made it clear that we were willing to pay and just needed a round figure to work with. We worked the details out and got everyone tracked.

I was sharing the news with my friend, and she starting going on about how nice it must be to have that at my fingertips for free. I stopped her and explained that my band and I paid my partner for his time- which he gave a HUGE discount on (charged us a per track cost instead of per hour as hourly is more expensive) and that I would never expect him to do anything like that for free. Especially since it can take upwards of two weeks to get close to product that would be worth releasing.

She said that it wasn’t right of my partner to “take advantage” of me like this, and that I shouldn’t have had to pay at all for something that he could’ve just done for me as a gift. She then started comparing him to my last ex, who literally abused me verbally, mentally, and physically- my current partner is very much not that way. She brought up that my ex would always take money from me or expect me to pay his bills when he fell short on money due to his addiction, and how this is the same thing since my partner took money from me to record my band at his studio.

I disagreed and explained that it’s not like he’s a complete amateur with zero experience, tracking my band in his bedroom. He’s charging my band $300 to fully track, mix, and master a single, which IMO, is very cheap for a guy with a bachelor’s in audio engineering(he’s going for his master’s,) who has tracked Grammy Award winning musicians. I even asked if he was sure we weren’t ripping him off at that rate. My bandmates and I could easily afford it and budgeted for a far higher amount.

She kept saying I was blind, it’s because I care about him that I can’t see the truth, etc. No matter the perspective I give, I’m too biased to be right since I’m dating him, it’s just a given to her that any of his skills are mine for free. I think that’s wrong. He teaches me about tracking/mixing/mastering when we’re just spending time together so I have some things to help me on demo tracks. I think that is the extent of free help I’ll accept without feeling like I would be taking advantage.

I’ve worked in the semi-pro side of the music industry for a while, and know of people who won’t charge less than $500-1k/track and most of them just quote their hourly rate for single tracks since it can be pretty time consuming.

I don’t think my friend is right here, and I quickly changed the subject after this, because I didn’t want to argue with her about it but things have been a little off between us since then. She hasn’t been talking to me as much, and when we do talk it’s different from normal.

Should I just avoid this topic with her?

EDIT: hey y’all! Crazy amount of response and I’m glad to know I didn’t have my blinders on.

Just to clarify a few things: 1) this reaction is very out of character for my friend. We’ve been very close friends for over 4 years, and never once has she reacted like this toward me or anyone else that I’ve known about.

2) I do think she was concerned, especially because of my ex’s behavior toward me. I don’t think any of this stems from jealousy honestly.

3) she isn’t in the industry, so she doesn’t know much about it. Which is why I was extra shocked that she thought I was being taken advantage of. If anything, I felt like we didn’t pay enough, but who am I to kick a gift horse in the mouth.

4) my current partner works 7 days a week, holds down two other jobs outside of his studio until he has a more stable client list, has his own car, own place, full custody of his child, is still in school, and still somehow manages to find the time to see me every single day. He’s the most amazing partner I’ve ever had and I feel very lucky to have him in my life. He’s a walking green flag, and my friend knows this too.

Submitted March 22, 2023 at 12:47PM by No-Beginning-3715 https://ift.tt/DYqh56z