My (23F) roommate (23F) is also my best friend, and we’ve been living together for about a year now post-college (friends for a total of 3 years). I know everyone says not to move in with your best friends, but we’ve actually been doing great and have had little to no living together related conflict.
We used to hang out all the time - maybe 3-4 times a week, and 75% of the time I’d say it was spontaneous. For example, if one of us had a bad day at work, we’d text “drinks tonight?” and the other person would 9/10 say yes immediately unless we really had some other plan set in stone. We’re both highly extroverted and none of our other friends could ever keep up with how often we liked going out - so we depended on each other to fill that social need. I know this dynamic might seem unusual to some but it’s worked for us as long as we’ve been friends, even before we became roommates.
Recently, though, she got a boyfriend and it’s the first relationship she’s ever had - therefore, she has become very obsessed with him. They’ve technically only been together officially a little over two months, but they’ve been casually dating before that for almost 6 months now. Ever since they made their relationship official, they have been attached at the hip. Understandable, since this is her first boyfriend and they’re technically in their honeymoon phase - but because of this, she is never home anymore because she spends every night at his place. Not an exaggeration, she usually comes home Tuesdays to water her plants and goes straight back to his - she even works from home over there.
I know this is silly to be upset over - we’re grown women and she can spend the night anywhere she wants, but I’ve been extremely lonely. Every time I ask her if she wants to grab drinks like we used to, she always says no because she’s at his place. I’ve talked with her once about how it would be nice to maybe set up a time to hang once a week since I miss her and I want to catch up, and she agreed, but she hasn’t really held up that promise. The one time we did hang out last week, she asked if her boyfriend could join us & he did :/.
A lot of people could say I’m lucky, it’s like I’m living alone. But if I wanted to live in a studio - I would. I chose to live with a roommate because I like the feeling of living with someone. Some nights, sure - it’s great being on my own. But being alone every night is really getting to me and I’ve been extremely depressed.
I guess what I’m asking here is…am I valid to feel this way, or is this feeling irrational? I can’t tell if my being upset is unfair to her, after all - she’s happy. …but if I am at least a little bit valid, can I talk to her about or is it better I keep it to myself? I feel like I’d feel so silly saying any of this aloud…
TL;DR: My roommate (23F) got her first boyfriend and I don’t see her anymore because she spends every night at his place, and I don’t know if it’s irrational for me to be upset by this.
Submitted March 30, 2023 at 03:29PM by jessday1029 https://ift.tt/jQYqk73
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