My (22M) head is all over the place in regard to my current three and a half year long relationship with my GF (20F). What am I supposed to do. I’m lost and I need advice.

TL;DR - My (22M) head is all over the place in regard to my current three and a half year long relationship with my GF (20F). What am I supposed to do. I’m lost and I need advice.

I’m in this relationship for the past 3 and a half years, I’ve tried and tried and tried to keep us together due to failings of both myself and my current GF. She has only in the past month began trying to get herself the help she needs mentally and has agreed to start seeing a specialist for her binge eating disorder, as well as start a gym etc. She’s really making a huge effort. However, I feel like it could be too little too late and I’m trying to fight against everything in my head telling me that I shouldn’t continue the relationship, because I have tried breaking up with her 3 times in the past month and a half, only for each time either I go crawling back to her because I feel terrible about how I let her down and I still love and care for her, or we agree to give it one last shot with a few “must do” things like both of us going to therapy etc. But each time I always find myself back in this situation. I haven’t even started therapy yet, I’m due to this coming Wednesday for the first time.

A big reason why I am considering breaking it off not only because of my dwindling love for her and my brain telling me I can’t see us working long term, is that I feel like I have found someone who could actually be my soulmate. I started work with a girl in a small retail outlet where when we work, it’s just the two of us working together and nobody else. I find myself staring at her throughout the day in a daze, she seems to take genuine interest in me and we will do nothing but talk and laugh all day until it’s time to go home, only for us to sporadically text one another about non work related things until we eventually end up being rostered into working together once again, and the cycle repeats. I can’t shake her off my mind. I don’t think I’m riddled with infidelity because she’s the only girl I’ve ever had this sort of reaction with since I began dating my current GF. I feel like out of respect for my current GF, I shouldn’t have her in a relationship with someone who is infatuated with another girl, regardless of if me and this new coworker ever end up becoming anything in the future. But, as I said I have tried that 3 times and each time I’ve thought I might never find another girl willing to go to such efforts to change and become a better version of herself for the good of us being together, my current GF loves me more than anyone ever has before, and is an angel to me ever since she started therapy. And I’m afraid of losing somebody like her and never being able to get her back.

So I’m looking for advice. I hate that I’m doing this to my current gf because I genuinely do care for her and love her. I was genuinely upset every time I broke up with her, but then with this coworker and us having so much in common, she’s attractive, bubbly, and a joy to be around, compared to my gf who I don’t overly enjoy being with recently. My head isn’t in a good place right now and I need some guidance.

Submitted March 26, 2023 at 01:18PM by throwaway2875245 https://ift.tt/EXIBc1C