Hello. To start off my parents got divorced when I was 17, and my mom did 100% of the food preparation. After the divorce I lived with my mom, and then I ended up moving back in with my dad when I was 22. They spilt my brother 50/50 and switch every week.
I’d like to say that my mom still doesn’t really know how to cook and a lot of meals are frozen or it’s more of assembling food rather than cooking it. She also order out for my brother a lot. But she does actually try to make his meals as healthy as she can by including veggies, a reasonable carb size amount, always having fruits, etc. and when she orders out it’s from healthier places like Luna Grill (Mediterranean).
My dad on the other hand is the problem. He’s always had women cook for him in his life so when the divorce happened he really had no experience. He should’ve learned or even do what my mom does. But instead, after living with my dad for the past 3 years, I have seen a bad diet always given to my brother.
From my dad’s side, 97% of my brother’s meals are pita bread, In-N-Out, Chick-Fil-A, and pasta. And no I am not kidding. I cannot remember when my brother had something that wasn’t these 3 things (probably a few months ago), but I remember it was pizza which really isn’t better.
A typical day for my brother is having pita bread or those big Costco muffins for breakfast, having the school cafeteria lunch, either get In-N-Out or Chick-Fil-A after school (switches every other day), and pasta for dinner. Sometimes my dad will get In-N-Out for after school and then Chick-Fil-A for dinner. You get the picture.
Granted, he will sometimes have fruit but it’s really only in the summer and spring. But as of now he probably only has fruit once a week (if that), and there’s definitely no veggies involved whatsoever.
His entire diet is carbs, a little bit of protein, and that’s it (when he’s with my dad). My dad prides himself that he doesn’t give my brother the “bad fast food” like McDonald’s, Jack in The box, etc., and how he doesn’t let him drink soda and he gives him milk. I will agree the two places he goes too are marginally better, but it’s still fast food.
My dad’s ego is the big big problem. I feel angry but also sad because he probably feels if he admits my brother’s diet isn’t good that means he’s an incompetent father, which isn’t the case. Ironically he became what he feared because he resists help.
Now, here is where the problems occur on trying to fix this problem. When I moved in and saw the diet I told my dad and he got really defensive. My older sister used to live here too but she moved out and she laughed when I told her this because she said she tried so many times and he would just yell at her for bringing it up nicely. Over the course of the 3 years I’ve been here I’ve brought it up about 5 times and each time it ended up with him raising his blood pressure for yelling at me so much and him getting so defensive. So 1 or 2 years ago I thought I’d take the liberty into my own hands and start making healthy meals for my brother. Boy did I make a big mistake. He told me not to do that every again unless he asks me to, and that I’ve “ruined” my brother’s meals for the day. In the summer when I would be with my brother all day and be on “brother duty”, my dad would ask me to get him food from these 2 places and when I didn’t and cooked him something healthy instead (that my brother would enjoy, btw), my dad would give me a dirty look when he got home from work, so I knew I could only do this sometimes in the summer since I have a little more control.
Before I moved in with my dad, apparently my sister told my mom and since my mom and dad are on terrible terms my mom ended up telling the courts. But that obviously still didn’t change anything.
Over the summer, my aunt from the Middle East visited for some months and the very first thing she noticed was the diet. She tried talking to him and my dad scolded her to Timbuktu. Definitely wasn’t brought up again.
So then I tried informing my brother of making healthier choices, portion sizes, eating fruits and veggies, etc. in the hopes that maybe the next time my dad would offer fast food my brother could request something else and that could force my dad to change his habits. It didn’t work because my brother never attempted to say anything. I thinks it’s for a number of reasons like my brother likes the food and if my dad (who has more authority than me) is saying it’s okay than he’ll listen to him. I also feel like he knows my dad might question this and get him the food anyway.
I don’t know how many more people he is going to call crazy and wrong. Me, my sister, my mom, my aunt, and the courts have all agreed this is not a good diet but yet we’re all wrong.
I’ve already given up hope but this is my last holy Mary. I definitely am not the healthiest eater but I sure eat a lot better than that, and he uses the claim that since I eat fast food sometimes I’m not one to talk (since I branch out of in n out and chick fil a, since those aren’t fast food places I guess) when my dad eats fast food from those 2 places pretty much everyday too.
I know I may face backlash for this, but I am completely unwilling to get the courts/CPS/law enforcement involved for many reasons. The main reason is he only eats like this half the time. And my mom and dad are on HORRIBLE terms so going to her for any advice is out of the question. Like, they literally hate eachother and haven’t even seen eachother in many years. And I’m not sure if my mom could even help that much because apparently my brother doesn’t like a lot of the frozen food she prepares, so it’s a hard situation.
Any advice at all? Thank you.
TL;DR: my dad gives my brother a bad diet that consists of fast food are carbs for pretty much all of it. Me and many other people in his life have tried talking to him but he lashes out and gets defensive at any polite attempts we make regarding this.
Submitted March 14, 2023 at 10:02PM by rrickrolled https://ift.tt/fNlZnS9
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