My (53M) father has spread news that I (23F) am engaged to my (23M) boyfriend behind my back. What do I do?

My boyfriend (23M) and me (23F) have been together for four years now. Since we met while studying abroad (we still are) and we are both from different countries we've been basically staying together from the beginning, as that's what lots of student couples, especially foreign, do.

Initially, when I brought my boyfriend home my father was a bit critical of him, but has now accepted him and even spends time with him. My father have some traditional beliefs on relationships, and has told me (his words) that "women should only bring 1 or 2 men to the house before settling down, men can bring 3 or 4", that "he needs to know whether I'm planning on staying with my partner or am planning on bringing another man home (??)" and that "if my long term boyfriend breaks up with me after so many years it will ruin my reputation (someone explain this to me as I can't see what breaking up has to do with my reputation)". He also isn't a fan of me and my bf being always together and has questioned it (we're happy being together most of the time and get along really well). My mother has jokingly commented on my boyfriend staying at my parent's house with me over the holidays as "bringing the groom home".

Now, after four years, I suspected something may have changed when I was walking down the street and an elderly neighbour greeted me by yelling "Congratulations!". I shrugged it off as her being happy about my relationship. However, in neighbourhood supermarket, my cashier also congratulated me. That's when I started getting suspicious. Finally one day my boyfriend came home after running errands with my father and told me he was introduced to a shopkeeper as ilovelancerz's fiancee. He was rather flattered, but I wasn't. Soon, over the holidays, people around the neighbourhood would continue to congratulate me and ask to meet the "groom". I also started getting DM's from acquaintances asking about my relationship. Everyone knows about it, the cafes, the restaurants, even shops. In my country the pressure to get married and start a family falls on the woman so I'm the one bothered with questions and asked about wedding plans.

My father is of Eastern European background and my mother (53F) is a stay-at-home wife. They married at around 29 years old, so it's not like they married around my age. We are not close to my father's eastern european family so I can't know if this is a eastern european habit.

I am aware that this isn't an important problem to worry about, but it is getting really annoying. I am a 23yo PhD candidate in the UK (not UK citizen) and some older people have even suggested giving up my studies to get married after hearing the news. Every time I visit my hometown I keep getting bombarded with relationship/engagement questions. I asked my father about it and he denied ever saying anything, and my mom just shrugs and says to leave him alone.

TL;DR My father spread news that I'm engaged and I can't visit my home country without getting bothered about it. BF says to leave it as it is. What do I do?

Submitted June 03, 2022 at 03:59AM by ilovelancerz https://ift.tt/qJ9wDWI