My daughter's father got a DUI with our daughter in the car and now Child Services are coming to my door and I'm mad.

Obligatory, this is my alternate account because I don't want this post associated with my main account.

In February my (28f) daughter's father (38m) got pulled over for drunk driving with our then two year old in the car. Child Services placed him under investigation and I took her away from him (I have full custody, he has visitation). I set some rules, he needed to see a therapist at least 3 times before I would let him have her for a supervised (by me) visit, he needed to do AA, and he had to buy a breathalyzer and do a blow test before every visit.

He agreed to and abided by those rules. He's done a great job in his recovery, and I gave him permission to see her in April, right before her birthday. By his own choice he did not see her until June. He has seen her a few times since then and even had her for a few hours for Thanksgiving. I've been less than impressed with quite a few aspects of his behavior but altogether he is making an effort.

I did some therapy after everything happened and unfortunately that had to come to an end as my therapist moved away and there is a waiting list to get in at my local counseling center. But basically, I've really been struggling with how angry I am about the whole situation. How angry I am with him for being so reckless and selfish and endangering our daughter's life. I don't want to be angry, but I don't know how to forgive him and I don't know how to let this go.

Child Services is now ready to close his case, and here lies my newest problem. I didn't do anything wrong. I was assured that I was not under investigation, but the state requires that they have to visually assess my daughter, in my home. I agreed to this, but verbally verified once again that I was not under investigation.

A woman came to my house the next day and she was so rude to me. It was awful. I'm not a super tidy person but I keep a clean house. Its lived in, the floors are swept and mopped but I probably have a pile of unfolded clean laundry hanging out on a random chair at any given moment. We're also renovating right now so of course theres a few areas of the house that aren't finished. Tools are always put away in a room where my daughter is not allowed to be, and I made CS aware of this ahead of time.

This woman though, she came in and the first words out of her mouth were "you have a lot of stuff." She looked around and saw an empty soda can lying on the floor next to the recycling and went on a rant about how if I'm going to have the baby in the house I had to keep it clean. She was literally acting like she was going to take my daughter away from me over a soda can.

Then she started interrogating me about if I send my daughter to daycare, how am I related to her, why is CS involved. I explained that my daughter is in preschool, that she's my biological daughter and the incident that put my daughter on CS' radar.

She left shortly after that and I've been stewing over it since. No one is going to investigate his home. No one is knocking on his door and invading his privacy. He's the one that messed up and I'm being punished for it and I'm so angry its literally going to make me sick.

I had to allow a stuck up, rude, condescending witch into my home so that she could talk down to me like I'm some kind of mentally challenged meth head and he gets off scott free? Really? He gets his license back and they're not even going to supervise a visit between him and our daughter but I get treated like this?

I need some advice. I don't know how I'm supposed to handle any of this. I hate feeling angry and resentful but I don't know how else to feel. I don't know how to forgive him. I don't know if I want to. Every time I look at him I just want to start screaming. He used to be my best friend, I trusted him.

TLDR: my daughter's father got a DUI with our daughter in the car and I am extremely angry and don't know how to forgive him especially after child services got involved.

Submitted December 14, 2021 at 11:15PM by nkgw18 https://ift.tt/3EXKHA1