My (41f) stepdaughter (21f) told me the real reason that she didn’t go to parties, date, or drink alcohol in high school. How should I best support her?

My stepdaughter (21f) moved out earlier this year and came to visit us for Christmas break. I started dating my SO (47m) 7 years ago and moved in with them 5 years ago. My stepdaughter is generally secretive and has some emotional issues. She had a failed suicide attempt when she was 11 and then again when she was 18. I know that her biological mother (45f) was abusive and that she doesn’t trust adults because they didn’t believe her or didn’t take her side initially. In high school she didn’t have a teen experimentation phase like her peers and was generally a well behaved kid. This year she started drinking occasionally and got a boyfriend (25m). She told us that she is getting picked on at college for being less “experienced” than her peers and that she has been dealing with insecurity over it since eighth grade.

She admitted that when she was a freshman in HS, her peers started partying and drinking and she decided not to try alcohol or drugs before age 21 or even put herself in situations where there would be peer pressure because she felt that, as someone who had attempted suicide she was statistically likely to be a drug addict. I googled it and they are five percent of the population and half of inpatient rehab cases so she’s not wrong tbh. She also secretly dated someone for a few months in seventh grade, and after they broke up she realized that their relationship was so dysfunctional because she was expecting him to fix her emotional issues, so she didn’t date anyone for nine years but now feels like she has a strong grip on her problems and it won’t hurt her relationship. I feel bad that she kept this from her father and everyone else for almost a full decade and didn’t feel safe telling anyone.

TL;DR my stepdaughter opened up about her emotional problems and I don’t know how to support her best especially since she has been abused for having mental health issues before

Submitted December 16, 2021 at 12:54AM by Stepmom1980 https://ift.tt/3GFQJpE