I cut off my (35F) step-sister (34F) after she gave me the silent treatment. What should I say to my family?

I'm going to try to keep this short, although it's complicated due to my family's dynamics. We're not officially step-sisters any longer, but my father still dotes on her and I still tried to have her in my life after our parents split up.

My father is on his 4th marriage. When he married his second wife her daughter became my step-sister. We were like real sisters, together from when I was 5 until I turned 18. She was given a lot of advantages and privileges that I wasn't, because her mother insisted on it and my father always puts his new families ahead of his own children. My father and Step-Sister's parents paid for Step-Sister's university education and room and board, paid for her vacations, covered her $25,000 credit card debt, gave her a used car, and helped her with a down payment for her first house. She was favoured in other ways as well - for example my father taught her how to drive, but refused to teach me how to drive. When I knocked out my teeth riding my bike my dad refused to take me to a dentist until one of my teachers called him and shamed him. Step-Sister cut her face fooling around and her mother immediately took her to a plastic surgeon. I was (and am) obviously bitter and hurt by all of this, but have tried very hard not to express that to Step-Sister because it's not her fault. And I guess also because I've been trained to tip toe around her feelings at all times.

Step-sister doesn't seem to notice or care that she received a lot of things that I didn't. She acts like all of the things she has are a result of her hard work and not gifts from her parents and my father. She's confused that I don't own a home, for example, or that I had to wait until my late 20s to go to university because I had to save some money and wait until I could be classified as a mature student. She was confused that I was working in retail and other menial jobs in my 20s and told me to "just try harder," when her mother used her contacts to secure Step-Sister a very good job right out of university (and an internship in France... and Spain...). If I tried to explain to her why I was in the situation I was in, she'd shut down and end the conversation.

Step-sister has stood me up a number of times. We'd arrange to meet for dinner, I'd schlep there on the bus, and she wouldn't show up or answer her phone. Other times she'd flake on me and cancel at the last minute. I just stopped inviting her anywhere and didn't accept her invitations to hang out unless there was something else I could do if she didn't show up (like meeting at a museum or something). She gets into snits if she doesn't get her way, and gives me the silent treatment if I do something she doesn't like - but she won't ever have a discussion about it or tell me why she's upset. She's now been giving me silent treatment for weeks and I'm just done. I've blocked her # and have blocked her on all social media. I'm firm in my decision and have been thinking about it for years. She only adds negative feelings to my life, she brings nothing positive.

The problem is that I'm going to get heavy pressure from my family to reconcile with Step-Sister, because they will all bend over backwards to keep her happy. What should I say? I don't want to get into a drawn out, emotional fight about it. But they're all experts in triangulation and refuse to have honest discussions about how I was treated or how Step-Sister behaves. They're not even related anymore and my father still puts Step-Sister above me. I guess I also want to know how to not feel guilty about my decision. I'm also just really sad about the whole thing.

TL;DR I cut off my Step-Sister, won’t be reconciling with her, but need some advice on how to handle family pressure and guilt about it.

Submitted August 24, 2021 at 09:41AM by teedietidie https://ift.tt/2Wgtuk2