Husband (28M) treats our marriage like another thing on his business schedule and I’m (28F) sick of it.

Shortly after my husband and I got married (3 years ago) he’s started to treat our marriage like another thing on his checklist and treats me more like a client than a wife.

For example:

He schedules the days in the week where we can have dinner together and doesn’t even mention it to me if he isn’t going to be home on the other days. I have to check his calendar to know if he’ll be home or not. When I complain about it, he just shuffles his schedule to add more days he can be home until I’ve calmed down and then things return back to normal. He also has a set time and if dinner runs over, he just excuses himself and moves onto whatever is next on his list.

He does the same things with dates, vacations, etc. If my family invites us over at the last minute and it isn’t on his schedule, he won’t go. If I ask him if we can do something or go somewhere, he asks me to email his assistant so she can confirm he can make it. If he has something planned and I can’t go he also gets really upset and acts like I’ve wasted his whole day even though he very rarely gives me prior warning and usually leaves it up to his assistant who isn’t very consistent at notifying me.

I’ve tried talking to him about how this makes me feel but he never changes. I’ve talked to his cousin and she claims that’s how the men in the family are and I shouldn’t take it personally, but it feels awful. He wasn’t like this whilst we were dating, and I don’t know how to get our relationship back to where it was pre-marriage.

What do I do?

TL;DR – Husband only spends time with me if it's in his schedule and wants me to inform his assistant about any dates I want to go on to see if he can make time.

Submitted December 03, 2020 at 03:23PM by ThrowRAscheduled https://ift.tt/36FUjAT