My boyfriend [34/m] said horrible things to me [29/f] during a fight just now and I don’t know if I can ever get over it.

I’m very upset right now so I’m sorry if this is all over the place.

I have issues with anxiety that have caused a strain on my boyfriend. I’ve been going to therapy for the past month or so and have improved and am actively working on it, but I still have moments of anxiety around our relationship. We’ve been together 2.5 years.

Tonight, I was feeling sad because of the impending election and general state of the world. My boyfriend seemed annoyed by this and started talking about how much my negative feelings overwhelm him. I tried to explain that it had nothing to do with him, I just felt a little down, but he kept getting more and more angry about me “making his life harder.” We had some more back and forth and he started saying things I consider pretty horrible.

He said that “my net cost as a resource was negative”, and that he wasn’t getting anything out of the relationship. He said that “all the reasons for being with me were theoretical”. I was shocked at this and began to cry and told him he was breaking my heart, and then I raised my voice and told him to take it back. He yelled back that it was true, and my negatives outweighed my positives, so it was basically like my positives didn’t exist. I told him I’d been trying really hard to work on things, which he’s praised me for before, and he said “I don’t see how you can be doing much work when you sit around in your robe all day doing nothing” (I have a demanding full time job at a big tech company).

I left our place in a state of shock and called my friend crying, who basically said that the things he said were horrible and verbally abusive. I came back to the apartment expecting an apology, but he said he “stood by what he said”, and the only thing he was sorry for was the comment about doing nothing all day.

I feel heartbroken. He’s been like this a couple times before, but we had agreed to never speak to each other like that again. I’m not sure if I can ever get past what he said or forget it. Should I just end this now or are these kinds of fights to be expected in long term relationships? Please help.

TL;DR: boyfriend said horrible things to me during fight. Don’t know if this should be a dealbreaker.

Submitted November 02, 2020 at 10:29PM by New-Recognition-8107 https://ift.tt/388glgY