I'm (28F) ready to end my relationship with my father (58M) over yet another accusation that I'm a lying hypochondriac

I (28F) had a surgery about 2 months ago to diagnose endometriosis (a chronic pain condition that effects the reproductive system) and had a lot of diseased tissue removed and they had even found that scar tissue had glued some of my organs to my abdominal wall. So, I'd classify that as a major surgery. I'd talked with my dad about the surgery and condition before and thought he understood even though he could not be there for the surgery or help me recover.

Fast forward 1.5 months, and I'm just starting to get my stamina back and my abdominal pain is minimal. I had setbacks when I tried to go back to work after 2 weeks, but now I'm 90% back to normal. Trying to catch up on everything (work, housekeeping, etc.) has been rough, but I try to set aside 1 day a week to see my family. Last week, I wore myself out on Sat with a new workout and going shopping with my family, so I missed Sun dinner. This week, we celebrated my stepmoms birthday a day early since my brother had work today. Since it was Halloween, I made plans with a friend to go to a haunted maze where another patron got scared and accidently tackled me. Sprained my ankle and wrist, plus bruises and pain in my abdomen near my surgery site. So Sunday, I stayed home to rest and monitor my pain. Cue call from my dad lecturing me on making excuses to not see the family on Sundays. That I should have been 100% ready to do anything a week after my surgery since he had been moving boxes and going on 8 hour drives a week after he had a small benign tumor removed (doc said it shouldn't have been causing pain where it was and it wasn't urgent to remove). Saying i should just say that I don't want to visit rather than coming up with lies about my health. How he's afraid of how I'll "end up". Implying I'm just like my "hypochondriac" mother.... who had cancer, Graves disease, and currently lives with MS. The "fun twist" is he's a medical worker.

This is an argument I thought we were passed. One, just proved that I've had a chronic pain condition since I was 10 (endo pain documented since then) so I wasn't lying then. Two, I had seen him less than 24 hours before this call about supposedly avoiding family to spend time with friends. I'm almost 30 and tired of the same complaint of "laziness" when I'm working overtime at my job and trying to optimize my non-working hours for physical recovery and household stuff and my sanity.

I'm ready to cut off my relationship with my dad. Or at least until he gets some anger management/therapy. This isn't the first time where he's decided to pick a fight out of nowhere. He never mentioned anything about it to the rest of the family. It just happened to be when I'm personally struggling with coming to terms with the idea I have an incurable disorder and trying to piece my life back together.

TL;DR Am I overreacting to my dad calling me a lair about my painful surgical recovery by cutting him out of my life?

Submitted November 01, 2020 at 08:33PM by RenaeLeFaye https://ift.tt/321q0li