Husband (32 M) doesn't help with moving heavy furniture and then gets aggressive when I (32F) try to move them on my own

Husband and I have been married for 5 years. My husband will leave his heavy stuff like his amp in the living room for months and I try to be patient but then I reach a point where I'm not anymore. I asked him a few times over the last couple months to please move them to his office downstairs and his response is always "later." I also ask for his help with moving heavy boxes since we moved a few months ago and same thing "later." So our living room is stuffed with things I can't move on my own and I finally got fed up with it. I dragged a heavy box of books to the stairs and slid it down the stairs, causing all the books to fall out. That pissed him off. Then I tried to pick up his amp and it's super heavy and I'm walking with it and he loses it. He doesn't want me to drop it and he grabs me really hard. He makes me give him the amp and he just puts it back in the same place! So I pick it up again and he grabs me roughly again. I tell him I just want it out of the living room and will get it downstairs somehow whether it's him or me. He loses it and grabs my face and threatens me and slaps me. I'm very upset at this point but still upset that he just won't freaking move his stuff out of the living room so I pick it up again. He calls me a bitch and takes it from me and takes it downstairs. We get into this cycle where every several months I can't take waiting anymore and take it into my own hands and he freaks out because he's worried I'll drop something or whatever and then he'll finally move it himself after getting aggressive and calling names. I never get to move heavy furniture because he won't EVER help with that so they're stuck forever in the position we leave them in when we first move in even though I don't get a chance to figure out where I want everything. I hate living in a cluttered place and I feel embarrassed having people over, it's affecting the quality of my life. It's also hard for me to vacuum around all the stuff. I really want advice on how to handle the heavy lifting when my husband won't help? About the slapping thing, I really don't want advice on that- I just want to explain how bad it gets over this one issue. Hes not the most stable right now and really needs help. He always feels horrible afterwards and he has really low self esteem because of how little control he has over his emotions. He'll often say how bad he is for me- I know his heart really well and he's not one of those conniving guys who abuses their girl and then buys them flowers knowing fully well that they're going to do it again. He has mental issues and I know I don't help with how stubborn and angry I get, if anything I make it worse because of how I act during fights-like in the above situation where I kept picking up the amp knowing it was making him more and more angry. I need help too. I do want to make it work, I want both of us to see therapists to help us work through our toxic behaviours. If that doesn't work then divorce will be considered. Anyways, I just wanted to address that issue so I can focus on the issue I really want to talk about, how to deal with moving the heavy stuff when husband doesn't allow it??

TL;DR Need advice on what to do about the heavy stuff my husband leaves around the living room for months with the promise of moving it "later"

Submitted October 31, 2020 at 08:03PM by Jolley88 https://ift.tt/3jI3Qup