Hello Fellow Redditors,
I am here looking for any advice possible. My long distance relationship, me 31F and him 33M, just ended in the most dramatic and difficult way possible. We have been long distance for the past two years as he has been doing a traveling job as a chef. I’ve trusted him completely for the entirety of the relationship. We had our ups and downs, but I was incredibly dedicated and faithful to him and believed we would be together forever.
Quarantine has been hard on both of us with him in Chicago and me in Seattle. We were unable to spend it together because I have two dogs and he was still working in Chicago. We went a straight 7 months without seeing each other but communicated nonstop. Surprisingly it was the best 7 months our relationship has seen since being apart. We were so close ( or so I thought).
We had decided around July after a long conversation that it was finally time to close the gap and have me move to Chicago. I told him I couldn’t spend any more time away from him and with his job finally being in once place and not touring, he agreed. I flew to Chicago and we spent a week looking for a new home together. It was great. I returned to Seattle and started making plans- finding a job, a home, a ceramics class all in Chicago. I booked movers, told my landlord, everything to set myself up for the transition.
We finally found a place to rent, together, by September and planned my move for Oct 1st. I spent so much time packing and planning, moving across the country is a lot of work and I did it alone. He became a bit removed, but he also started online school at that time so I thought he was just stressed.
September 30th rolls around, the movers show up and pack everything into the truck. Boyfriend was arriving that night and we would drive across the country the next day together. He texts as usual that morning and says he’s headed to work. I’m busy all day and finally call him at the end of the day when he should be getting to the airport. He doesn’t answer and promptly call me back 5 minutes later and reveals the news- he isn’t coming and he says the worst possible thing he could do is allow me to move across the country to Chicago. He breaks up with me, all in a 20 minute phone call, then blocks my number and tells me to essentially leave him alone, no explanation given.
I’m completely devastated, lost, confused, alone, and full of emotion. I frantically call my sister who lives in Texas to console me and help. She’s a few months pregnant but doesn’t hesitate to hop on a plane the next day with her husband to fly to Seattle to help me. They decide it’s best to drive me back to their home in Dallas where we can figure out what I will do with my life next. I have no home, no belongings, no job, nothing left.
Finally, after a full month of not responding to me besides a text here and there, the ex boyfriend resurfaces in a response to my sad breakup email I sent him a few days after the phone call where he broke it off. He says he was unfaithful emotionally and physically the entirety of our 4 year relationship. He confesses to sleeping with multiple girls. He says he’s downplayed our relationship to everyone because he was just never really sure what he wanted to do with his life, but at the same time he didn’t want to lose me.
Essentially, I’m devastated. I need help. I’ve decided to move to Nashville to start clean, but how to I rebound emotionally? How do I ever start another relationship and fully trust again? I feel like the last 4 years of my life are a complete lie. He tore me apart- financially AND emotionally. How do I cut him out of my life completely? And finally how do I ever trust another guy again? Any advice on where to go from here is appreciated.
TL;DR: LDR boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me the day before I was moving to be with him, AFTER giving my entire life away to move. Just found out he cheated on me the entire time.
Submitted November 01, 2020 at 12:28PM by heatherlynn_0 https://ift.tt/2HVfu8v
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