My(26f) boyfriend(37m) doesn’t like how I look.
EDIT: I broke up with him yesterday. I’m sad but I know deep down it needs to be over. Sounds cheesy but I just keep rereading the comments to reassure me of my decision. I appreciate all the kindness. I just made a reddit yesterday and wasn’t expecting such a response.
So I’m short chubby curvy whatever and When we met he was pretty ripped up. We started dating when I was 22 and he was 33. Over the years fights about my appearance and decisions about my body have become normal.
I’m into tattoos and piercings he has told me he doesn’t like my tattoos, I’ve gotten new piercings he acts like he doesn’t notice them, I stopped wearing bold lipsticks when we met, I randomly dye my hair and he has straight up told me it’s made me look uglier, he has called me fat maybe three times in drunk fights. When we first started dating I was very insecure about my body (at 22 this is more normal) now idgaf my weight fluctuates about 40 lbs depending on my mental health up or down about 3/4 times a year. It was early in the relationship but I asked him his dream woman and his answer was a porn star gym figure ( 100 lb of fat and 30 lbs of plastic surgery different than me). I’ve always been chubby but was never super insecure but that changed 100 percent after this comment. I became jealous insecure, especially bc he has been my only boyfriend. Over the years I have stopped trying to receive his approval and affection basically.
I moved away to FL last year without him for a job but we stayed together. Me and a coworker ended up getting close, it really made me feel wanted, sexy, cool and normal for a 26 year old. I may be edgey but what city adolescent isn’t nowadays right. Even though I moved back home months ago bc of losing my job to COVID, we still fight about this coworker.
Yesterday he said I didn’t have the right to talk to anyone because of how he looked and how dare I with how I look try to pull a fast one on him.
Is this normal, usually I’m sad and move on, that I feel nothing this time? I don’t care what he has to say about me. I feel like I’m finally ready to leave but thinking I should lose weight first.
TL;DR: my bf doesn’t think I’m attractive but I don’t feel ready to leave him until I’m feeling more self confident.
Have you ever dealt with a breakup in the midst of low self esteem? What made you leave a relationship? How did you realize your relationship was toxic?
Submitted August 02, 2020 at 04:22PM by vrivvey https://ift.tt/39MKcKA
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