I am 21 years old and studying in Germany. I've had 3 boyfriends before my now boyfriend and 2 from them ended because of my parents. I have NEVER received any support from my parents when it comes to love and relationship.
I was 16 when I had my first love, my dad beat me up and together with my mom insulted me for days. They found out because my mom opened my laptop and read my private messages. I had several bruises on my thigh, my po, my legs,... after that. They expressed how disappointed they were and said that I was not allowed to have a boyfriend at such a young age. They would only allow it after I finished high school. My bf at that time told me that he couldn't bear seeing me suffering like that and we broke up. It was such a hard time for me. I cried everyday for months, and could only sleep when I was too tired.
During high school I had no boyfriend, even though some boys liked me. I began my second relationship when I was 19, after high school. My mom seemed to know what was going on between me and him, so she said bad things about him, how she didn't like him. My aunt even texted me that I should stay being normal friend to him. I was so tired of all the hiding, it actually influenced my mental health badly and this time I broke up with him and he did know that my family didn't support it.
After that I had my third boyfriend. I didn't hide, but my parents didn't like it either. They said that his home town is so far away and told me to break up with him. I had many discussions with them, I tried to stay calm but they always lost their temper and shouted at me. We broke up later for other reasons.
I moved to Germany (from Vietnam) last year for my study, where I met my now boyfriend. He comes from Colombia and we've been together for more than one year. I didn't hide my relationship at first because I thought I was old enough to have a boyfriend and my parents should respect that. They were so calm at first, told me (again) that I shouldn't love him, because he is foreigner and lives so far away from Vietnam. Then they started to insult me through the phone calls. There were times I didn't want to call my parents because they would ask about us and shout at me again, say bad things about people from Colombia. I hate that! I feel so sorry for my boyfriend. He is the sweetest, his family loves me and sends me letters and presents, they even sing for me on my birthday. But he can't get those from my parents. I live alone but I feel like a bird in the cage. Why can't I l decide who I love? Why do they never, just for once, support me like other parents? I visited my parents last summer and they forced me to end my relationship with him, or else they wouldn't let me come back to Germany and wouldn't support me financially anymore. My dad even said he would kill my boyfriend if I don't break up with him. I didn't know what to think at the time I heard those words. How could a man say something like that? But they always say they do everything and only good things for me. Please, help me understand that? Because I can't. I have to lie that I broke up with him, so that my parents leave me alone. But hate it, I hate it so much.
What should I do? I don't want to give up on us. My boyfriend say that it is better to keep it that way for now because I still depend on my parents. It makes me so sad. I want to fight for my rights to love freely, not to hide it. I want to love my boyfriend fully without having to think about my parents' disagreement.
tl;dr: my (toxic) parents don't support my relationship with my boyfriend, which makes me so sad and angry.
Submitted June 06, 2020 at 03:20PM by haileydee https://ift.tt/3dAR2E1
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