Hello friends.
I've been reading about attachment styles. I think my ex falls in the anxious category... or at least before. Because her behaviour now seems more like avoidant.
Everything was as usual. No fights or warnings of how she felt. 1 month before she was talking about us moving in together, because she is starting a new job.
Then she ended it with a text stating some general motives. Cold, no thank you for the good times. It ended with, take care, dont call dont show up.
1 week after I messaged her being gentle and understanding. Saying how happy I was for how she got so much better with her depression and anxiety (I've been there every time), thanking her for good times. I didnt ask her back, just asked for some clarification and that she hurt me doing it this way. Sent my good wishes to her and her family.
She replied 1 hour later, saying her decision was final and this would be her last message. She repeated some of the things she said on the 1st text and repeated some of the things I said. She threw in a quote and a few words of advice and gave best wishes.
Almost a month later I was doing so bad... How could she do this so coldly? I sent her another text. This time calling her out for what she did, she didnt communicate, i dont believe anything she said... For my own sake. I wanted to vent and feel it was final. She was hurt and texted my best friend, saying some mean stuff and some truths about me.
Fast forward 2 weeks and i see a post of her friend (i removed her from everything) saying "better times will come" and i checked her IG and saw she had erased some posts (probably photos i took of her, no photos of us) and it set me back.
Since I have come to realize I was being distant lately, I keep thinking If iI should've tried harder for her to at least talk to me... I know i'm probably overthinking. But I'm having a hard time accepting the fact she chose doing it this way, with no regard for what we had.
I'm 6 weeks in and keep waning between not wanting to speak to her ever again and trying to understand what's going on with her... Even though I've got nothing to do with her anymore...
Maybe I should have tried a bit harder? Or maybe I should just accept the unacceptable and swallow my ego... I have no idea I was with a person capable of doing this... Shame on me I guess.
Any thoughts?
Thanks for the read <3
For moar context (if you want ofc) i've been posting around.
TL:DR: Ex gf ended 9 years with a vague text. I think i handled it pretty maturely (except maybe for the last text I sent, altough i don't regret it, because I would still be holding on to the hope she would contact me.) Now it seems she is really sad/angry and I'm having little doubts creeping in.
Submitted May 01, 2020 at 08:58AM by SplitDaGuilt https://ift.tt/3c2bQni
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