My best friend of 8 years/future roommate is trying to tell me what I can and can’t do when living together even though it doesn’t affect her [Both F20]

So today we went to the store and I decided to get some little tea candles to use for doing tarot or spells. I’m into some spiritual stuff like that although not super crazy/woowoo about it. I just find that it makes me feel better whether it’s real or not. I have only ever done healing spells for sick friends or family and have no intention of ever doing anything that wishes harm or control on somebody else. When I say spells, I mean nothing more than the equivalent of praying or journaling. She told me then that she isn’t okay with me doing spells or tarot at our place. I told her that I don’t understand why she gets to decide what I do when it doesn’t affect her, she won’t even have to witness anything, and explained a bit what I do even though I’ve told her before just in case she had a misconception of it being harmful. She kept going on that it makes her uncomfortable.

It got pretty heated and honestly I think it became a tipping point for some other things I’m upset about with her. I constantly feel looked down on by her. She tries to tell me how I should spend my money because I don’t have a savings account, how much I should work when I make enough to afford what I need and have a good amount left over, criticizes my relationship (not for anything my partner does, but rather just who he is), and is just very passively condescending about other things like what I do or feel. I feel like we’ve become quite different in some ways, but still enjoy each other’s company and have enough similarities. I don’t care that she has a different life than I do, but I feel like she can’t accept that of me. I want to give her the benefit of the doubt that she doesn’t know that she’s hurting me, but regardless I feel like she sees me as someone who is trying and failing to be like her instead of me just being different from her.

The argument ended without any resolution and her saying that I need to compromise, but I really don’t feel like I should have to. She was already so difficult with finding a place and I compromised a lot so we could meet her needs. While buying furniture, I’m fully compromising the style of decor I like to just be in my bedroom because she doesn’t like it. We had to tailor the apartment choice to accommodate her small dog, but she told me that she didn’t want me to get a cat when I brought up the idea. At this point, I’m honestly considering not living with her and losing my $600 deposit because I think she may end up making me feel like shit the whole time, however doing that will likely ruin our friendship. I want to at least have one more conversation to try to resolve this issue and bring up how she makes me feel before making the decision to not live with her. I’m just not sure how to. I also am not entirely sure that I’m not being ridiculous by caring about this so much, but it’s less about the witchcraft and more about her trying to decide what I am and am not allowed to do along with being judgmental of me. Am I being crazy? What should I do to actually talk about this constructively?

TL;DR Got in an argument with my friend because she says that I can’t do any spells or tarot in our apartment. I’m more upset over her trying to control what I can do and her being judgemental towards me.

Submitted May 28, 2020 at 06:05PM by exspiravitfemina https://ift.tt/2TOOqe1