Just wanted to get everyone's opinions.
So April of last year my girlfriend and I decide to go on a mutual break. This was caused by us being distant with another due to personal stresses each of us had. We decide on this break to be mutually exclusive to one another and reapproach our relationship in 3 weeks to try and fix it. During the break we still hang out with each other and communicate on the phone. It was very clear that we were to be exclusive as the purpose of this break was to hopefully fix our relationship. Well 2 weeks in she goes with a guy to some bars and they end up sleeping together at an Airbnb. They didn't have sex but they made out and he played with her tits at the Airbnb that night. The next morning she leaves and they don't see each other again (he lives in another state and was just visiting). This guy and her met the day after our break started in an inter collegiate competition and they had stayed in contact as friends but obviously became more than that. I know she didn't do anything earlier with him before our break as she hadn't met him then. Below is a progression of events from my perspective from the Monday following the Saturday they met up.
She had logged into her facebook on my computer earlier so when I decided to check my facebook a few days later it signed in to her account automatically. There a chat window was open and she had talked with her friend about how her and this guy went to some bars together (she didn't mention anything physical). She also sent a receipt of an Airbnb she had purchased. (The guy lives in a different state and came down to visit). Keep in mind I did NOT know they did any first base things at this point. In fact I DID NOT KNOW who this guy was and never heard of him. All i knew at this point was her and this mystery guy went to the bar together 2 days ago. However I was very suspicious and confronted her. She said she was sorry and that he was just a friend, and that they didn't do anything physical (she was on her period after all). I asked if they went home together and she said no. She said they just went to a few bars together as friends. She said he flew to see his friends and they ended up hanging out since she was in the area. I asked about the Airbnb and she said she had bought it as he wanted to rent it but his credit card wasn't working and he asked her to rent it and he would venmo her (she showed me he did venmo her for it).
She kept talking to him on snapchat for the next 2 weeks until I told her that either I was going to leave or she had to cut him off as it was making me uncomfortable. Also around this time she mentioned she was thinking about flying to New York in the coming 2 months to meet him again since they're friends. At this point I was very suspicious and asked to see her phone to see their messages. She said no as she said that she talked to him about her problems with me and she didnt want me to be insecure. She did confide that she had a crush on him and had "talked" to him and that she was extremely sorry. I said fine (she never lied to me in the past) and she blocked him. It did make sense to me logically that she would want to talk to someone about her issues with our relationship as I was doing the same with my friends. It did bother me that they "talked" (like when you meet a girl at a bar and swap numbers and do the talk/flirt dance before going on a date with her). She said she had poor judgement and did it because she was lonely.
Anyways our break stretches into a month and a half (we still have constant contact). We end up getting back together and things are great. However the whole thing with him always bothered me especially with the Airbnb.. If he was visiting his friends wouldn't he just stay with one of them? I brought it up for months afterwards but she maintained they had been just friends.
I bring it up again yesterday out of nowhere.. It's probably been 5 months since I mentioned it but for some reason I thought about it that day. Keep i mind its now been OVER A YEAR since it happened (April 2019 vs May 2020). This time she tells me the whole truth....
The day after our break started she met this guy at an inter collegiate competition. He flew back the next day but they kept in contact and talked for two weeks.. She became emotionally close with him. He flew down here again and they rented an airbnb together and went to bars. They came back to the airbnb and made out and he played with her tits. She left the next morning and they never saw each other again. She just started crying and saying it was her biggest regret.
KEEP IN MIND WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE EXCLUSIVE DURING THIS BREAK. That was made very clear. And she lied to me for over a year. WTF???? She said she did this because she was unsure of me. But if you wanted to explore other options you should've told me. On our break we would see each other everyday. We would talk about our relationship and the things we could do to improve/fix it. It was very much focused on how we could fix our relationship while giving each other space to reflect on ourselves. She is extremely caring, nice, etc.. We've never had any issues in our relationship before or after this other then us drifting apart before our break due to stresses in our college careers. I never doubted any cheating at all nor was there any abuse or anything like that. What would you guys do?
tl;dr
Girlfriend and I on a mutually exclusive break. Girlfriend does first base with another guy. Doesnt tell me for over a year.
Submitted May 28, 2020 at 06:38PM by G62225NR https://ift.tt/2Al1pgi
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